He cheated and I may have to pay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2011
He cheated and I may have to pay?
12
Wed, 03-20-2013 - 9:45pm

Hello Everyone,

My H has been going thru a mid-life crisis for 2 years now. Learned of his Affair 1 year ago. I was and am still devastated but it is what it is and I need to prepare for a D. Here is my issue.

He still lives with me. I have asked him to leave several time but he hasn't.  If and when he leaves the mortgage is $1800, I think I can do it, it will be tight, but I can do it. He says I can have everything and won't fight me.  I said no child support if he sticks to that.  Kids are 17 and 16 yrs. I have $11k saved, he has $0.

I live in CA. No fault law. I have $100k in 401k and make more $ than he does. He has $30k in 401k. If we divorce, he can take 1/2 my 401k andI may need to pay him alimony. oh and take my saving and some investments I have, about $5k ....WTH???

I have 20 years with this man and 18 were wonderful. He has gained 200 lbs that he lost 5 yrs ago, drinks everyday and avoids me except for a kiss on the cheek at night and one when he leaves for work. NO conversation. He is depressed and refuses to get help for himself. As much as I want to work things out he is making zero effort and I can only take so much.

I don't know if I should let him stay while he pays the house while I work on paying off our timeshare $14k and my credit $5k credit card? Or insist on him leaving. I don't think he will fight me for my $ but I NEVER thought we would be in this situation.  The house is not worth what we owe. He owes $5k in credit card and his car payment $15k

He pays the house I pay everything else, utilities, food, cell, car insurance etc. I need a new car no car...soon.

I am afraid once he sees how much living on his own will cost he may fight me.

What to do???

 

Jen-

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2011
Tue, 03-26-2013 - 2:09pm

Hi there,

That is what I had hoped for, one of us has to stay with the house because we owe more than what it is worth. Otherwise, we both come up with the delta from the value vs what we can sell, or we go into foreclosure, that would not help either one of us. Also, we bought the house from my parents, I have lived in that house for 26 years, I have some attachment to it.

 

Jen-

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2014
Sun, 03-16-2014 - 12:20am

Thank you very much Priest Ajigar for i never thought any thing could make my husband come back to me as his wife again after he broke up with me and left to settle down with another woman who never Knew how we both suffered and share feelings together in USA but thank God today i was lucky to see this great spell caster on a site after seeing a lots of testimony and good work he have done in the lives of people helping them to get their ex,husbands and wife renewing their relationship i was convinced and i contacted him and just in 3 days after the spell was casted my beloved husband came looking for me and right now we are together again and he is taking care of me and the little kids as his responsibilities and family.I advice today if you are looking for a real and powerful spell caster just know that Priest Ajigar is a very powerful and a genuine spell caster and he don't do dark or black magic here is his email(priestajigarspells@live.com)

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