He got served today.. did i make mistake
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He got served today.. did i make mistake
| Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:06pm |
I met with a lawyer over a month ago to file for divorce. I've been living a roller coaster life lately trying to file, care for 2 kids, 2 part time jobs, and dealing with the reality that my husband is verbally abusive and not that just "all men are like that". This past week he was so sweet, we cried together about knowing our relationship is not a good one, but it felt different this time. I met with my counselor at the women's center this morning to talk about this and if he could change what I should do. You see, he was suppose to get served on Wed - 2 days from now! But, when I got home from the center I knew something was wrong. When I asked him - he threw the papers at me and said this is what's wrong "I just got served". He was more irrate that my statement said he was abusive than he was that I filed. He said "what will people think" and then starting accusing me of abusing the children and him! I am so confused. I came home thinking I would call the lawyer and put this whole thing on hold until I was sure he wasn't changing and then this all happened. Now not only am I confused about the marriage vs divorce but also if we proceed will he try and say I beat him and the kids? Will the court believe him? The lawyer says dont worry, but my husband makes the money and has family with money so what if money buys everything including physical custody of my kids! I am so confused and lost and scared.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening.

I seemed to have had the same husband, same family and unless he has actual proof, ie doctor's/hospital reports, photos, etc he cannot prove physical abuse. He could claim it and drive up attorney costs but not prove.
Not sure where you live but in SC you have do be a crack whore who does it in front of her kids to lose custody. Hopefully he is all bark. Get out of the house with the kids.
The day I told mine I was leaving he had offered a new diamond ring up. A few days earlier he had me up until 3am telling what a lying whore I was for going out with friends, screaming and yelling at me. People don't change like that. A verbal abuser will always be one. Mine always begged and pleaded and got all nicey nice with me. Eventually he put his hands on me. I hope that is not the road you end up on.
I believe you came to the decision to divorce him. If you put thought and consideration into that decision, then stick with it. He just showed his true colors by lying and accusing you of something that I would assume you haven't done. Does that sound like a man who has changed or loves you? Why would he want people to think his children's mother abuses them? He seems to only be concerned with what others think of him. Mine told people I left him to be a lesbian and in court asked his attorney to ask my attorney if my lesbian lover was living with me. Yeah right!!!
Good luck
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. If the papers came early then perhaps it was because you were about to make the mistake of believing him again. I think that actions speak louder and the fact that he started deflecting his behavior on you is your answer!
You are right to feel like your confused..I'd be scared for you if you weren't! I'm in that situation where he's being so nice that I'm forgetting why we got to this point. Just stay strong and keep writing....It helps!!!!
Hugs!!!