He has "concerns"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
He has "concerns"
7
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 1:26pm

Reposted, i posted it in the wrong spot. Sorry!

What an ass. My son and I live with my parents right now. in a huge old house, along with my youngest brother (20), a college student. They are selling the house, due to a myriad of issues. So both myself and my brother will be looking for other accommodations soon. one of the options floating around is for the three of us (me, clay, bro) to get a nice 3 bedroom apartment together. TO cut down on costs for both of us. I'm just not sure I can swing it without a roommate (esp. since he's not paying child support right now due to his disability and recent knee surgery). Well he has concerns and thinks it's a terrible idea and won't "allow" it until A) the house is for sale or B) has been sold. (I don't think he can stop me from moving -- he has joint legal, i have sole physical custody). . . and he has "concerns" about my brother because he's 20 and never had a girlfriend. Concerns meaning he thinks he's gay (not even). . . but even if he were, there isn't anything wrong with that, nor would there be anything wrong with HIS son being around his uncle. I'm just so frustrated and ready to cry .. he also said that once we move that our son will have to be in day-care full time (currently he's in Parents-day-out 3 days a week, 4 hours per day, and my mom watches him the other time (except most Friday's he is with ex all day). So that would be an additional cost .. he has "concerns" about my mother too, mostly in that he's convinced she's brainwashing him against him. Says he'll take me to mediation about that issue -- the child-care one. Insisting that he HAS To be in an (approved by him) full-time day care. Meanwhile he doesn't pay one cent for ANYTHING

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 2:32pm
Give me an F***ing break! Now he's saying that I can't move in with my brother because our paperwork says I'm not to "cohabitate" with anyone and moving in with my brother (according to HIS lawyer) would be considered co-habitating. Also, my brother is NEVER to give Clayton a ride (he is 20, clayton will be 3 in July). I think he's capbile of giving him a ride if I need him to. He's going to get the courts and his lawywer involved now. That's all he's called about all afternoon is saying that it's illegal for me to do this, and he won't agree to it until the house is actually listed. He can't stop me from moving, can he? I don't think he can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 3:14pm

OK. I truly think he's blowing smoke about having talked to his lawyer and him saying I couldn't live with my brother because it would be "cohabitating" with someone. . .

and i quote

The parties also agree not to cohabit with a person they are involved in a romantic like relationship when they have the minor child in their care and custody.

But now he's being all jerky and saying he's talking to his lawyer. Icurrently no longer have a lawyer. She was too much money, AND didn't agree with my giving him joint-legal custody.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 5:14pm

I think he's blowin' smoke on what he "wishes" would be the law... not what the law actually is.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 5:23pm
I do that. the I know what I can and can not do thing. And he says that the only difference between us is that I have PHYSICAL custody. I don't thinkt hat's the only difference, but whatever. He can take his chances. Co-habitating with my brother is illegal. Come on! He also told me I was wrong for not notifying him immediately when I found out this was going to happen. According to him whenver something concerns HIS son, I must notify him IMMEDIATELY. Yeah, right. whatever buddy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 5:38pm

Tell him you'll notify him "immediaetly" when you have something firm and definite


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 11:33pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 12:25pm
That's why you are going to mediation. If he wants a different daycare situation that's "approved" by him then he's going to help pay for it. Period. They aren't just going to give him that choice and not expect some give from him.