he left in anger, will he come back?
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he left in anger, will he come back?
| Sun, 05-28-2006 - 9:58pm |
Two days ago my husband left me. He simply said he wasn't happy and wanted a divorce, he didn't want to try, he didn't want counseling or a seperation...it's all or nothing. Last week we were in love, we made love, we laughed, shared stories, In fact we had planned a second honeymoon to renew our vows in november, and this week we had a fight that esculated but felt resolved. Friday morning he kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me. When I get home friday he asked for the divorce and left. He had been home before me and had packed some of his clothes and took his computer and playstation, and when I got home he couldn't give me any reason and refused to try any methods of saving our marriage. I felt that he was just angry over our argument about money, and he just stood up and walked away. I asked if he was coming back and he said he didn't know. Then he left. On Saturday he sent me an email with links to websites for do it yourself divorces and said he'd give me a fair offer, it was the coldest thing I'd ever read. How can you go from being in love one instant and so distant the next???? Is he just angry and needs to cool off and then he'll come back???? Or do I really start preparing myself for something I don't want? Do I do this no fault do it yourself thing? Or is that just his way of controlling what happens and what I can get. Please help...I'm so lost and confused and scared. I panic not knowing if he'll kick me out of the house, or if he'll take his money and run. I can't afford to support myself and I don't know what to do? Any advice would help...I can't get focused or clarity and since it's a holiday weekend I'm trapped in our house, by myself, alone and terrified and I can't even get legal advice until tuesday...what do I do now???

God, that's simply awful. Of course, you're scared and confused. This all sounds crazy.
You've got to tell a family member or trusted friends what is going on. Or, if you're involved with a church -- try that. You need them now. Make and appointment with a therapist -- see if your friends or family can refer you to someone. It sounds as if there is more to this. He may have met someone. This sounds like he has made decisions. Or, maybe he is unstable. There isn't enough information in your post.
Good luck. Make those phone calls.
I am so sorry. I think Karen may be right...there might be more to this than meets the eye. I hope that it is not true for your sake, there's nothing, and I mean nothing as devastating as being in love with your husband one day and the next day, he up and leaves.
Talk to a close family member. Reach out for help in your area. No one can say whether he will come back or not. But you can take steps now to try to take care of yourself.
Until we hear from you again, be blessed.
HUGS! You must be terribly shocked and hurt. I'm glad you found this board and decided to reach out.
A wise person I admire said this: Plan for the worst, but hope for the best. Unfortunately, there's no way to know if your husband will come back home, so the best things you can do are are protect yourself emotionally and financially. Schedule a consultation with an attorney. You're under no obligation to hire one if you just have a consultation. If you don't feel comfortable getting referrals at this point from friends or coworkers, you can check with your local bar association. Second, schedule counseling sessions for yourself if your H refuses to go. I can't tell you how valuable I found counseling over the last year plus.
As for feeling safe and normal? That takes time. It was a sign of strength for you to reach out, so you've shown you definitely have the inner strength to deal with this. Also, you may want to think about looking for a divorce support group in your area for some additional support. It's very helpful to talk to people who are going through the same thing. And post here often!
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