He is out of control - CRAZY!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
He is out of control - CRAZY!!!!!
23
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 8:41am

I am actually afraid for my life now with my ex. Yet again he caused another fiasco on Saturday for the pick up, I left messages for my lawyer and my son's that day and Ive already called both lawyers this morning and left messages with them. He accused me of hitting him I didnt. He swung to hit me because he wanted me to get away from his car, he didnt want me to see whether or not he had a car seat. Thank God my sister, niece and her boyfriend was there. So I have witnesses that I didnt hit him.

I am just at my wits end Im so upset and Im actually afraid for my life. He took off speeding down the block, went straight through the stop sign at the end of my block. He is a stark raving maniac. My God why is he doing this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 9:14am

Wow.... I hate to say this, but *if* he had hit you..... well, you could've filed a police report.


Can't you tell from a "distance" if he's putting the baby in a car seat?


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 11:06am

No because has got inside and closed the door and he has tinted windows and it's hard to see inside. Now I know that he has one so I wont have to go near him or his car again. But get this. After yelling dont say nothing to him or ask him anything and he's not saying nothing to me or asking me anything. A half hour later he had the nerve to call me and ask me for my sister's boyfriend's cell number. I just hung up on him. He called back saying he has to tell him something about jaylen. I asked him what was wrong with the baby and he hung up. I called him back saying just tell me what's wrong he said give me his number and I said stop playing games what is wrong Im his mother not my sister's boyfriend. He hung up. Then he called back and said Im going with him to the hospital and hung up. I started crying, calmed down and called him, he answered and said so you have the number for me now. That a-whole. I gave him the number.

Im frantically calling my sister's boyfriend he answers and I ask him what's wrong with the baby. He says what are you talking about, I told him what the jerk said and he was like hold on. He was on the other line with him, he came back and said the baby is fine he just wanted my number. How could he. He told him he went to the police station to try to have me arrested for "hitting him" they told him there is no bruise, no proof or anything. This man is crazy. He also told him that he wants me to hit him so I bruise him and as soon as I do he's gonna have me arrested. What's wrong with this man. Why is he doing this.

He threw out the outfit I sent the baby in saying it had holes in it. A lie! He sent him home in pants that were too small that they could even button and the shirt was too small also. I put an undershirt on him and he in turn puts an undershirt on top of that one that was too small. My god it's like this man is trying to make me go crazy or something. I cant take it anymore. Now my mom is afraid the courts will take the baby from both of us saying we are unstable. Can this happen. My god Im so afraid. What's wrong with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:24pm

OK, yes he is out of control...... but you've got to stop engaging him.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:00pm

I hear what your saying and ofcourse will do my best to implement those things. But how do I handle when I need to inform him of medicine Ive given the baby at a specific time and the next time he needs it when he wont even listen to what I have to say. When it comes to this, this is serious business. And I also need to know the last time he gave the baby the medicine if its a time when he's sick. I can assume that he stuck to the schedule but I would need to know for sure so the baby wouldnt get over medicated.

As for the clothes I am on a very very tight budget. And I need all the clothes I have for the baby. He's not even paying c.s. My rent has been raised again, Im looking for a place to move, Im backed up in all my bills and the last thing that I need to worry about is losing clothes because HE doesnt like them because I picked them out and they arent name brand. He cant behave like this. I cant just allow him to behave like this with the clothes. Wont the courts do something.

He needs to be an adult.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:34pm
Hugs Red! I wish i knew what to say. I don't. So take care of you and your child. I'll say a prayer for you. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:46pm

One thing that worked with my husband and his ex wife when things were really bad was that they wrote a note and stuck it in the diaper bag.

Does your child have a health condition that requires that he take meds every 2 hours or so? If I recall he is over 3 years old and his dad only has him for 7 hours at a time, is that right? Most medicine is once every 6 or 8 hours just adjust it so you don't have to send it with dad or count on him to give it to him.

As for the clothes go to Goodwill and buy $10 worth of clothes to send him to dad in. The courts are not going to get involved in this because it is petty. You 2 are engaged in a horribly petty fight and the courts could care less who is right or who is wrong.

Wild is right on....stop engaging him. Stop policing him every time he comes to get the kid. Let him figure out how to care for him. He probably will NEVER do things the way you want them done but unless the kid is harmed there is not a whole lot that the courts will do. It sucks but it is the way it is.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 1:48pm
Red, I didn't read all the posts till now so I'll just post again. I don't remember if your child has an illness that requires daily meds. I am going to take the assumption that he does. You need to write those instructions down and tape it to the med bottle. Then you know he has the information and you don't have to confront him. Also go to goodwill and buy the clothes to send with the baby. They are cheap. If they come back great. You are doing the best you can, but you are begining to make yourself crazy. Do you go to some sort of therapy? As far as money goes have you contacted SRS? or maybe some of the local churches? Keep venting here to us. We are listening. We care. We understand. Remember you cannot control his behavior. You can only control yours. Try really hard not to react to him. Punch pillows, Scream in the shower, etc. He is working you to get a reaction from you. When you quit he will get bored and move on, but it will take time. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:42pm

Right now, since he's only seeing the baby for a few hours, plan to give him any needed meds, yourself, before the baby leaves, then re-dose yourself when he brings the baby back.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:45pm

Why on God's green earth would he say he was taking your child to the hospital if it was a lie???? This guy is a REAL mess!!

I don't know if this book has been mentioned before, but I read Ex Etiquette by Jann Blackstone-Ford. I read it when my STBX was acting like a COMPLETE psycho...calling me horrible names, on the phone AND in front of our son, refused to communicate with me...etc. It REALLY helped. It even has suggestions for dealing with ex's that have severe emotional problems/drug problems.

I know it's hard for you to not worry about what your ex does when he's with your child, I really do. But I wouldn't worry about your ex trying to prove that you are unfit. It works both ways - you would have a hard time proving he is an unfit parent, and he would have a very hard time proving it about you.

Is it at all possible for you to communicate via e-mail? I know this works for a lot of people, if it's an option for you. I didn't have much luck with it because my STBX would just ignore my messages. Maybe you would have better luck with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 6:20am

Good grief, this man is such a DRAMA QUEEN!!!!!

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