He Physically Hurt Me - Humiliated

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
He Physically Hurt Me - Humiliated
11
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 3:01am

I haven't been to the board in a while....so, here it goes...

In May, my ex and I got back together. Like everyone already knew, the honeymoon phase would only last so long. We were supposed to go to counseling, etc., but that never panned out. After a few weeks, it all started again. He became verbally abusive, and ever so often he would push/shove me around when he got angry. He started lying and sneaking around again...same old crap he always did. He just wanted to use me as his doormat. But, something just snapped inside of me, and 3 weeks ago, I had him leave. I just couldn't take anymore.

I told him that I didn't want to fight and argue with him. I just thought that it would be for the best if we just ended things as they were. He begged and pleaded with me for a while, said he was going to kill himself, cried, etc. Then he became angry when I didn't cave in. He came into my house when I wasn't home and trashed everything. Still, I remained calm...until tonight.

We had mutually decided that our dd could spend more time with him than just every other weekend. He hadn't seen her in over a week and a half, so I called him yesterday afternoon and asked if he would like to have her some in the evening and take her to dinner or something. He acted ticked off, but said okay. I took her over, and she was happy, but he was extremely mean to me.

Well...he called me a couple hours later and told me to come and get her. It irritated me some due to the fact that I was busy working on some stuff I HAVE to get ready for on Saturday, but I told him to get her stuff together and I would be there in a few minutes. I pulled up to his dad's house (where he lives) and left my car running. I didn't even make it to the door before he ran out screaming and yelling at me. He was calling me every name under the sun and said that I couldn't have our dd, ever. I freaked out and ran to the door and he grabbed me by the arm and twisted it around. He let go when I screamed, but blocked the door. All the while, our dd was at the door screaming a crying. He backed away from the door and I went in to get her, but he was still yelling. Needless to say, she ran. He grabbed me as hard as he could and threw me into the wall and started shaking me. I started screaming and crying - dd was watching - even his dad was watching and he just walked into the kitchen. DD came running up to me, I grabbed her and ran to the door. He threw her clothes at me (which were off for some reason) and shoved passed me as I got into the doorway. The door slammed back and struck my daughter in the head which only made her cry even more. I got outside where he shoved me off the steps (all the while dd is in my arms - she's not even 2). I just kept going, but he pulled my arm back, swung me around and spit in my face while screaming vulgarities and names at me. Out of instinct or something, maybe survival or fear, I slapped him, which only made things worse. He told me to do it again and he would knock me down and he didn't care who was in my arms.

I don't know what to do. He's threatened that the next time he gets her that I better take a good look at her b/c I'll never see her again. I was going to go the police station, but I was scared. Furthermore, when we were separated before the divorce I filed for a RO, which was granted. But I was too scared to go to court, so my lawyer had some type of add on put in our divorce decree. But, I don't know if it went through b/c I STILL haven't received any divorce papers (or child support) and we were divorced in March (separated in November 04).

I just feel like crap and I don't know what to do. I feel so stupid for trying to make it work with him and humiliated that he did all this in front of our dd and his father. I just want to protect my dd and myself, and I just don't know how.

Kait

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 6:53pm
Kait Honey, Everyone is right, you need to go to the police now. I know you are scare, but your husband has lost it. Please take care of yourself and your daughter. I am sending Stregth and Love to you. Use it. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

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