He is so cold, cruel, unfeeling toward

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
He is so cold, cruel, unfeeling toward
3
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 10:46pm
me....it hurts so badly. I am crying my eyes out to him...I ask him why? I ask him please not to leave me...please don't do this to our family, to our children. He just stares at me blankly....wont answer me, doesn't even care about how badly he has hurt me. I would have knawed off my own arms before I would ever have caused him this much pain....
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 9:30am

What do you mean "caused him this much pain"? Looks like he's the one causing the pain on you! He sounds like my ex- turning everything around so you feel like it's your fault. Don't go blaming yourself for anything...instead of asking why you caused HIM this much pain, ask yourself- why did you EVER let him cause an ounce of pain upon you?? That always helps me when I start missing my ex, I remind myself that I never want to be with a man who makes me feel like everything is my fault. It's a form of emotional control, and I refuse to allow that in my life ever again!
Hang in there...I know it's hard.

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 9:46am

I know this is hard and it hurts so much. But you may never get the answers that you want from him. The best thing you can do right now is take care of yourself. You can't control his behavior or actions. He will continue to be cold and uncaring, no matter how many times you ask him or yourself, "Why?"


Do you have family support or a counselor? I don't think I could have made it at first without the support of my family, friends, and therapist. Don't be afraid to ask for help or lean on people for a while. Also, do you journal? I started writing down all of the questions I had for my STBX - but I never gave it to him. Also, by journaling, I could look back week by week and see the progress I had made, even if it was small.


Take a deep breath, and be patient with yourself. Better days are ahead, I assure you.

What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 10:57am
Hi Lisa. Honey, I'm so sorry you feel that much pain. I deal with pain similar to that myself. But don't let it consume you. You WILL GO CRAZY. Try very hard to be as strong as you can be. Take every moment just one at a time, and try to stay calm. Love hurts so much. And it is not easy being all alone, but there are lots of people who have dealt with / are dealing with this pain too. If anything, try to find some comfort in that. This board is AWESOME for advice, constructive criticism, and support. I, personally, am so greatful for finding this type of support. But I do know your pain. And it hurts sooo bad - but stay strong. You will get through this. Take care and hang in there. Pam