He is such a JERK!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
He is such a JERK!!!
9
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:22am

I know this may be petty but why does he have to show up to pick up our kids driving his slutty girlfriend's car? The skank that he felt it was necessary to leave his wife of 16 years and 3 kids (the youngest was 9 weeks old at the time & has special needs!) for. It's like any opportunity to cram her down my throat is good. I hate him so much! Not to mention that she has been texting me for the last week about how I need to get over him (what??!!! he's the one that has stopped our divorce twice because he doesn't know what the crap he wants!) and stop begging him to come home. Of course, she is getting her info from him and there's no telling what he is telling her. Whatever suits his needs at the moment. To me, he acts like he is my best friend and still cares about my feelings. To her, he apparently acts like I'm some blubbering idiot b**** that is unable to live without him and that drove him to leave me because I was so terrible. AHHHHHHHH!!! I would just like for both of them to fall off the face of the earth! I'm so tired of being strong and always being the bigger person. I'm so tired of always having to swallow the disgust that I feel for him for the sake of the kids. I would love to just haul off and hit him. How do you spend 20 years with someone, have 3 kids with them and then turn around and make up awful things about them just to make your new "skanky" girlfriend feel better about herself? And she is just so ready to make it known to everyone that she is the one he chose and that she has him now and that HE left me. They make me sick! They both act like 2 teenagers and it's disgusting. He's 40 years old and she's pushing 40. Why can't they act like adults and be embarassed about the fact that they destroyed 2 families so they could act like idiots? Is that too much to ask?

Sorry for the rant....but I feel better now. Temporarily anyway...

Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 4:26pm
Stephanie,
4yrs ago I could have written this post. My X took off with his OW when our DS was 3. X had no car and no license, come to think of it, no job, no place to live, etc. He'd drive OW car to my house, heck some times he'd call that he was running late for something and say SHE was bring our DS home from visitation. GGRRR!!!!
I have the patients of a saint I’ve been told.
Sounds like your STBX is as much of a loser as my X. If so, you will not regret being rid of him. Let his OW deal with him.
My X is still with his OW. They have a 2 yr old together now. Things are not all peaches at their house. I hear they fight constantly, X still can't keep a job and their 2 yr old DS was throw out of his daycare for biting, pinching, hitting, kicking and scratching. I was told the daycare locked the DS in a closet he was so out of control. A bit extreme I think and not some thing I want my DS around.
My son is now 7 and shows little to no interest in going to his dad's house. His dad was absent from his life even when we were married (some place to go drink, so girls to make out with, some trouble to get into.)X was seeing DS once a month but now that he's over $3000 behind in CS he doesn't call. He won't even answer the phone anymore when his DS tries to call him.
I’ve remarried and moved on and my DS has too. You will be a better person because of this.
Chin up!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 5:08pm
((hugs))
Next time she texts you, tell her- don't text me, don't call me, X and I will deal with anything that needs to be done pertaining to the children.
And if she insists on texting still, warn her that you will press harrassment charges if she doesn't stop. And if she doesn't stop still, then press those charges! Just make sure to save your texts.
Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:26pm
I don't have the exact situation but you sang to my heart. Reading what you wrote helped me vent as well. I am sorry that I have nothing to offer except you are not alone. I don't know you, but I am proud of who you are. What goes around comes around...one day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 8:59am

It never ceases to amaze me the depths some folks can sink to. Again and again and again we hear these stories, like yours. I am just so so sorry.

Hugs to you and may eternity judge the rest of 'em.

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2006
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 2:10pm
It really does suck that these guys get to have their lives and "ours" too. We have to be nice for the sake of the kids, yet we can't even go out for 5 minutes by ourselves wihtout finding a babysitter. It sure would be a lot easier to date if I did not have the full reponsibility of the kids (which is better, he is not a great dad). They just have it easier than we do when they leave. Maybe we could put them all on an island in the Arctic somehere? LOL....
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 10:15pm
WOW!!!!! We could almost be twins!!! I feel for you truly. Mine doesn't come in his skank's car (HE says she's only a friend helping him through this-WHATEVER) He does tell me what a good ballplayer her son is blah blah blah while I have an Autistic 9 year old daughter who cries for her daddy!!! They don't deserve the love these kids give them!!!! There will be a day (trust me, there will) when these idiots will realize the mess they made and it will be toooooo late!! You will (and probably already do) mean soooo much to your son--he will see the sacrifices you make and will love you for your strength and grace in handling this mess!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 11:11pm
This may sound strange but I am in the same situation with my two dogs as you are with your children except that I can leave them for several hours at a time. My sister had an emergency situation with her son in Canada (a 12 hours ride) and wanted me to go with her for support. My now ex refused to stay with the dogs and told me I should be working and making money instead of running to Canada. Before any divorce talk he was very concerned about my nephew. My mother came and stayed with the dogs. My 5 year old has 'issues' and cannot be kenneled. My 11 year old has seizures which stress seems to bring on. She had four with in two weeks after he left. He tells me how hard his life is but he has spent every weekend at the beach fishing and crabbing. He has always been a selfish bastard in every way imaginable. If I find someone new I hope I am not as blind this time. I should have seen all the red flags 20 years ago. Simple kindness would be a good start with someone new.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 11:46pm

I'll drink to that!! My ex's slutty homewrecker always made him take her home first before he came to pick up the kids or drop them off because she was too much of a chicken***t to sit in his car in my driveway. Ya know, here's my question regarding these chicks who put themselves on such a high pedestal because a married man chose them over his wife... What on God's green earth makes them think that Prince Charming won't turn around and do the exact same thing to them??!!! Do they think they are such angels that they are above that happening to them? Yep, that's what I'd want... a man who stabs his wife in the back and walks out on his responsibilities as a father. Boy, that just gushes with integrity and security. Mmm hmmm, prize catch there!! I agree with the other post. If Miss Common Sense-less texts you again, text her back and tell her not to contact you again. Then if she does, report her for harrassment. Putting up with her is the last thing you need and that'll put her in her place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 12:30am
I agree with threatening people that are harassing/threatening/stalking you with arrest. And if it continues press charges. There are reasons for these laws and you do not have to put up with behavior form her or anyone else.I threatend the wife with federal charges if I determined she hacked into my e-mail accounts after she sent me an e-mail that e-mails are not completely deleted until the recovery basket is emptied. My question to her was 'how do you know they were not completely deleted'.