he told our daughter!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2008
he told our daughter!
2
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 10:24pm

So I finally told my H that I want a divorce. Since then he has gone up and down with his emotions, one day being mean and nasty the next being remorseful and begging me to give
us another chance.

The mean and nasty is getting difficult to live with. He told me he wants me OUT because having me around the house only makes it harder on him. He refuses to move from the house. I will not leave the house until I have a legal agreement on my rights to the house and an agreement on our 3 children. I found an apartment however I am NOT leaving this house yet, no matter how miserable he makes it for me.

We have not told our children yet because we agreed to wait until after our middle childs' birthday has passed, next week, and give it some time so she will at least enjoy her birthday party.

I found out last night he has been discussing the issue with our oldest daughter who is only 13. She told me that he told her she gets to have my room when I leave them. grrrrrr
I am so angry he involved her.

He has told me he is going to fight me for full custody of our children. Our youngest is 5.

I meet with my lawyer tomorrow. Any suggestions on how to prepare?

~Wendy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 12:32pm
I do think it's a good
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 9:59pm
Your STBX is going through the same difficult emotions as you, and some people cope in different ways. That being said, his behavior is childish and petty. His response to the divorce is to hurt you, threaten you and insult you. Do not take part in that kind of behavior. I know it's hard, but you must take the high road. As for your children, and your daughter in particular, divorce is hard enough on kids of even amicable divorces. The fact that your STBX is using your daughter as a confidante, is sad and wrong. Of course at that age it probably makes her feel good to be privy to adult matters, but I promise in the long run she will feel burdened by it. I would start by documenting that- the courts number one priority is the well being of the children and your STBX is not facilitating. Secondly, find some kind of therapy or counseling for your children. Google it, call social services, their schools, churches or whatever. Good luck.