He wants to file for divorce!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
He wants to file for divorce!
16
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 8:43am
I just spoke with my husband again this morning.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 9:03am
Tori, I am so sorry. I know you have been having a very difficult time since the separation. I think you just have to start to do things for yourself. Sadly, you will be starting over, and you are the main piece in the new equation. So, go figure out what you like and want to do and spend time on that. You were a wonderful wife who wanted to put the work in to make the marriage last, but it was impossible for you to do with your husband. Do you have a good friend/family member to see today?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 12:08pm
I know it's really hard when your spouse is the one who decides it's over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 4:22pm

Don't get caught up in the numbers game...number of years you were married.

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 4:34pm

I took the day off work and spent the afternoon at my girlfriends house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 4:41pm

When I need a reality check, I call my BFF.

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sat, 05-17-2008 - 6:37am

Well, he came over last night and I poured my heart out to him 200% and he was, again, unreceptive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 05-19-2008 - 11:00pm

She is right.... but you'll only "know" that for yourself after you travel down the road and see for yourself that it will all be OK.


You deserve to be with someone who WANTS to be with you.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 11:28am

Hey Tori,


So sorry you are going through this. My DH said he wasn't in love with me and was done with the marriage. He wanted me to live on one side of the house and he live on the other until it was sold. I can tell you it helps if you go get a nice apartment, one you will like. Get a 6 month lease, because he could change his mind. Make sure it is an apartment that is nice and comfortable, because it will be your best friend for awhile. If it is near your girlfriend, that will make it a plus. After about 3 weeks, it will start getting better as far as getting used to your new place.


My husband decided after I had him served that he wants to save the 10 years. I am not sure if he still is 100% sure. I decided to put the divorce on hold and am having him go to counseling and I am going to counseling. I never thought he would change his mind either. After you are apart for awhile with no contact, he may come around.


I can tell you that right now, you have to do what is best for you and get a nice place and be alone without his influence for awhile. HUGS to you. I know what you are going through and it makes me want to take these men and beat them within an inch of their lives for playing with our emotions like that!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2008
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 11:02am

Hey there, I'm in a similar position to yours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 11:07pm

Let it go - that's the first healthy thing for you to do. When people feel that you are pushing them to make a certain decision, they usually go in the opposite direction. If you let go, either a) he will possibly reconsider or b) you will be free from trying to control the uncontrollable - either way you win.


Laurel

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