Heartbroken

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2012
Heartbroken
5
Sun, 01-29-2012 - 1:10pm

Hi everyone. This is a very painful time for me and my sister thought talking it out here maybe helpful. So here is my story.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
In reply to: nash01
Sun, 01-29-2012 - 5:20pm

Hi Nash,

Welcome to our board, and thank you for sharing your story.

First, I will admit my complete ignorance of the cultural background you describe. So, please understand if I say something completely inappropriate. I will do my best to answer as a woman. Deal?

I am truly sorry your marriage did not work out. It's sad no matter how long you were married, how you met, or what the expectations were of you and your husband. I think you have great courage to follow your cultural traditions and marry someone you did not know extremely well and who seems to have a history that was difficult to understand.

That said, I think you are experiencing the emotions anyone would expect after having been left by the one who promised to love and honor you for the rest of their life. Divorce is all about rejection and it's a very painful experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: nash01
Sun, 01-29-2012 - 8:25pm

I wonder what happened w/ the woman he had a relationship with in college and why he didn't marry her?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2012
In reply to: nash01
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 9:37am

Thank you for replying. I don't understand what kind of issues of my husband had. Maybe you are right about the fact that he married out of expectation rather than out of desire. Nonetheless, he seemed very happy while we were engaged and he was the one who insisted that we get married sooner than later. Sometimes I think that maybe he just started missing the bachelor life where there were no questions ever asked or he just didn't want to bear the added responsibility that came with marriage. My sisters think that the frequent emotional hurts from his side were intentional because he wanted me to opt out first (given family pressures) and when that didn't happen, he finally snapped. I know this that he has lied to his parents about me by telling them exaggerated stories.

Also, he told me his ex is back in her home country (Spain) and is in a relationship with someone else. She has a kid as well. He didn't marry her because of the cultural and religious differences. Also, he knew that his parents wont agree either. He told me that their breakup was very painful because they were very happy together but there couldn't be a future for them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2000
In reply to: nash01
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 9:47pm

Your story is truly heartbreaking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2012
In reply to: nash01
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 8:35am
Hoping against hope that you are right. I'm trying to move on and be strong.But deep down inside, I still feel as if this is just a nightmare I'm about to wake up from or that he is not around because he is just away for work...sigh....