Hellloooo...is anybody out there?!

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Hellloooo...is anybody out there?!
3
Wed, 05-28-2014 - 7:43am

Wow.  It's a "ghost-town" on this board.  If there is anybody lurking, here is my update.  I have a new lawyer who has the opinion (as does one other lawyer) that I have a legal case against my previous lawyer for losing a LOT of money for me.  If my new lawyer is able to "undo" (i.e., vacate her previous order), I will not sue my previous lawyer, but my husband feels that I should sue her if my new lawyer is not able to undo this tangled web.

Yuck.  My divorce was final 9 years ago.  My conclusion is that the legal system is a venue for people who want to argue, especially abusive, narcissistic men (although I am sure there are some women like that.)  I think my problem is that I have always been the "nice person," who gets walked on, and I have to stand up for myself, now, to establish boundaries.  With each new lawyer and judge, my ex gets the benefit of the doubt until they learn, over time, that his words mean little, but his behavior speaks volumes.  <sigh>  <deep breath>  Patience and persistence.  I feel like the turtle in the turtle and hare story.  Life moves forward.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 05-28-2014 - 11:52am

You're right!  All of these boards are dead or dying.  And then many who post turn around and delete their posts, probably because they don't like the replies they're getting.  I'm sorry you had such a bad time getting divorced.  Maybe you didn't have the right lawyer(s) that believed you.  I got divorced years ago, but when I told my lawyer about what my husband was like and what he would likely do......he listened, he believed, and he negotiated accordingly.  We were halfway into a 30 year mortgage, and the lawyer said he would make HIM make the future payments, and when my youngest was 18, we'd sell the house and split whatever was left after paying it off.  I toid my lawyer NO WAY!  I wanted (and GOT) the house put in my name only, and I would make the payments!  My STBX was livid that I had the audacity to divorce him!  I was supposed to accept his cheating and alcoholism!  I knew he would do whatever he could to make my life miserable, and if HE was supposed to make house payments, I'd come home from work one day and find my furniture on the lawn and a foreclosure notice on the door.  Then my lawyer said, "then we'll "up" his child support" (3 sons), and I laughed at that.  I informed the lawyer that he wouldn't pay a penny!  I was right, I never got child support except for a while from his new wife, who was his g/f when I divorced him.  I think she felt guilty, so SHE sent a check for a whole $20 a month, until he found out, and he made her stop.  I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of going after him.  I knew it would bug him more to realize I needed him for NOTHING!  But my lawyer believed everything I told him, and dealt with it accordingly.  I hadn't worked in almost 20 years, but I got a job the day after I told him to leave, and I never looked back.  It was a cheezy little job, but it was an income, and I just worked my way up to being Office Manager and in charge of accounting.  Had I relied on him, I probably would have been on welfare!  You've wasted 9 years of your life being bitter.......get over it and move on with your life.  You now have another husband, so move on with your life and get out of the legal arena.  The only one who will profit will be your "new" lawyer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 05-28-2014 - 2:26pm

If you go this route, make sure the lawyer doing the legal malpractice case is going to do it on a contengency fee (you don't pay unless they get money).  Also you should probably find out if the old lawyer has insurance--at least easier to collect, although it's not easy to prove a malpractice case unless the previous lawyer really screwed up.  Good luck.

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 05-28-2014 - 8:25pm

My previous lawyer amended a previous order with zero communication to me, which results in me having to give back 67% of a fund that is now in my name.  The previous lawyer ignored my several communications (emails, phone calls, office visits) and mysteriously never billed me for amending the order, leading me to think this action was done in spite (in the past, I was billed within days of every action.)  I also learned through my ex's lawyer what actions were taken with none of my knowledge on it for 5 months.  :O  This lawyer did the a similar thing to the person that made the referral to me...I wait to see what my new lawyer is able to do.  I want to minimize my time in court if I am able.  However, I refuse to be walked on.  I'm done with "turning the other cheek," as I have done in the past.

My ex walked away with all of his investements, and I walked away with none of my investments since I cashed all of my retirement in during our marriage since he didn't make enough to support his family.  Foolish is the adjective I call myself because I truyly thought that my (now) ex "loved" me.  Well, I guess he confirmed that divorce was the right thing to do.  :(  I am fighting for my retirement, as I gave up my career to raise our children.  After taking a 7 year hiaitus from corporate America, I am just not taken seriously, as he is, and I will never have the earning potential I once had, as he does.  I am not the passive person that he thought he married.  I am done being a rug.