Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Help
4
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 9:56am
I am living the phrase "Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't". Why did I think divorcing X would help. I am in a position to report X for stalking, harassing me and violating PPO and yet emotionally I can't handle it. He was in jail this March and April and he was still contacting me, so I feel what difference does it make. Am I just waiting for a reason (if he gets physical)? Do I just don't care anymore (kill me)? Should I just run and hide? Should I just give in? He told me last night that if I paid him off he would leave me alone (he is unhappy with the divorce settlement). Then to intimidate me he told me his uncle had a gun. I asked him if he was threating me he said no. He said that during the divorce proceeding he was thinking of using information about the gun to play with my attorney' mind. Obviously, he was using the gun to play with my mind. Yet, he doesn't understand why I don't trust him and why I filed for divorce. Why would I rather let him harass me than call the police and have him put in jail? I went though a lot during the divorce and was able to stay strong but now I am weak. I told him yesterday that the reason why I can't be nice to him is because if I give him an inch he will take a mile and that is exactly what he does. I do feel sorry for him but he dug himself into this hole but he expects me to get him out. It is so easy for others to say call the police (how hard is it to dial 911). This is what I torture myself with every time he come by- can I report him or not? (It's not a matter of should I but can I).
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
In reply to: dkm1972
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 10:43am
You must, MUST report it EVERY time he violates the protective order. PLEASE! It is totally illegal for him to harass you. Yes, you CAN do it. You have an obligation to yourself, your friends, and your family to make sure you're safe. I know it it very difficult, but you can not allow this man to get away with illegal and dangerous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: dkm1972
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 9:32pm

Hey there.... I know it's exhausting.... but you've got to take action every single time he crosses the line.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
In reply to: dkm1972
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 9:28am

Thanks for listening!

I know he is not going to stop. I guess I'm just discouraged because when he did jail time in March/April for violating the order he still contacted me from jail. My attorney was sure the Judge would send him back, but he didn't.

I think today I am going to call my counselor and tell her what's going on and also see if I can speak to someone specifically about Domestic Violence counseling. I got to stop this before it gets any further. I wish I could just leave and go somewhere where he can't find me. That would be easier for me than calling the police on him. I know it doesn't make any sense. I don't know why I am protecting him. I thought that after all that has happened this past year and going though the divorce that I would finally get it. I think it was all just too much for me to handle; I wasn't prepared for how emotionally difficult this would be.

Didn't mean to ramble. Thanks again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: dkm1972
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 12:17pm
Getting in touch with a local resource for domestic violence is a VERY smart move.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~