HELP!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
HELP!!!
5
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:10am
Hi, I have been looking all over the internet and I can't come up with anything! I
was wondering if I can sue my soon to be EX husband for child abuse? And why can't I bring that up in court to make sure I get full
custody of the kids? My lawyer said there is nothing I can really do about it. I live in Oklahoma.Thanks for any help!!! Bugzie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
In reply to: bugzie2001
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:20am

Hi there,


I'm not sure of the laws, but I would imagine you would have to have physical proof that something happened. That would involve a legal guardian ( for the child ) among other things. It will turn out to be a pretty big fight involving many aspects.


If your attorney says that you can't do anything about it, why not? I mean what are the specifics on that? I guess in order for us to make any educated guess on this we would need more specifics.


Hugs to you and good luck!


Angelena



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: bugzie2001
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:36am
Hi, thanks for writing back! My lawyer can talk to my kids psychologist and he can talk to the kids.My oldest is 15 and the next is 13, the rest are 9, 8 and 5.The older ones can sure tell the lawyer all the horrible things their dad has done to them.Like buying the boys Air guns for Christmas,opening them himself and SHOOTING my 8 and 9 year olds.They were both a year younger then.The two older kids ran and my little one just stood there screaming and screaming.He was laughing and laughing!Needless to say that ruined Christmas.Or holding my 13 year olds cat over the banister of my two story house by the scruff of the neck and telling my daughter he is going to drop him.She is crying and begging while he laughs! We have a ton of those little stories. Most of them our psychologist knows too.We started going to her because my oldest girl was having nightmares and stomach problems due to the stress.Bugzie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
In reply to: bugzie2001
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:44am

wow.


I don't even know what to say.


Well, why does your attorney say you can't do anything about it? That to me would be something I would fight for. Fight for sole custody based on those reasons. Talk to the law guardian and your attorney. Write EVERYTHING down. Dates, times, etc.....


I am so sorry.


Take care and please keep us updated!


Hugs,


Angelena



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2005
In reply to: bugzie2001
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 9:20am
Sorry you are going through this. If you attorney isn't supportive nor will do what you want, maybe it's time to get a different one? I was going through a divorce and didn't like what my attorney had to say, so I switched and found someone much better. Remember the line "what is a med student with D grades?" A doctor. So lawyers can be the same way. It's all in the attitude and willingness to help you. Please talk to someone else. Most offer a free consultation and you'd get either confirmation of your current attorney or find a better one.
God Bless
Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
In reply to: bugzie2001
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 1:02pm

Bugzie,
Are these incidents taking place in your presence? Or is this happening when they go visit their father? (I'm not familiar with your living arrangements.)The abuse you describe sounds pyschological and emotional. Has he ever hit, slapped, or otherwise physically hurt the children?

You can not sue a person for child abuse, but you can report child abuse to your state child protection agency. Child abuse is a crime in most states punishable via the court system. I checked the state of Oklahoma website and found this link: www.okdhs.org/dcfs/child_protective_services_unit.htm. This link should outline state laws regarding child abuse, child abuse reporting, mandated reporting, agency obligation to respond/investigate, and parent responsibilities.

If you do report these incidents to your state child protective services, recognize you may be asked to account for who, what, when and where these incidents took place and more importantly, what did you do or have you done to address it, stop it or intercede on behalf of your children. Pyschological abuse is very difficult to prove, however, your older children may be asked collaborate what they told you.

Good luck.