HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2007
HELP!
4
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 9:59am

Well, I don't know what prompted me to do it, but I went under STBX's mattress Sat. p.m. and found a memory stick.

On it was lots of porn....of him and the OW. All their trips together, etc.

I smashed his computer.

I am so sick. I knew too much yet found even more. No wonder he was telling me I was too simple for him. I had no chance after that.

I feel like I have reached the end of my tolerance level. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I don't even know what is keeping me going second by second.

10 days and he'll be out.

God I hurt.

Hugs,
Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
In reply to: jjw0503
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 10:22am
You did it because you knew something was up. It is hard when that brick wall comes up and smacks you in the face. Then you realize all the pieces of the puzzle start to come together. The betrayal is the worst.
Make an appointment with a Dr. as soon as you can. To be tested. Then you need to think about your next steps. He will not change. It will only get worse. Once that trust is broken, it can never be put back. I feel for you. Once the initial shock is over you can decide what your next move is. Make sure you protect yourself. Keep that memory stick in a safe place. An attorney would be a good place to start. Best of luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
In reply to: jjw0503
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 12:45pm

When I read that you "smashed his computer", I get worried.

I can understand being mad, upset, rageful, hateful and all sorts of other things. I've been there, and I've thought of all manner of mean and horrible things to do to my ex-wife.

But these emotions have manifested themselves into physical actions, and they are violent. My concern is escalation -- you smashed his computer. Will he break anything in response? And this kind of action could be used against you -- a nasty lawyer can twist this one incident into a lifetime pattern of physical and mental abuse!

Proceed with caution.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
In reply to: jjw0503
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 5:32pm
Oh Jenn, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You must be questioning whether anything the two of you ever had was what you thought it was, even in the beginning.
You are not simple, you are dignified and caring and trusting, and you expected him to be as well. Hang in there. Is there someone you can stay with until he's gone?
((hugs))

Cat 

Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
In reply to: jjw0503
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 5:52am

<<<>>>

That last week stbx was here was hell. It has to be worse for you knowing there's an OW.

You may not be what he wants but you are what someone else wants. You'll find him after this is over. Just remember you are lovable for who you are. His porn addiction is his problem and you're better off without it.