Help and Advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2007
Help and Advice!
4
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 12:10pm

Hello,


I am new to this board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 12:52pm

Hi Katt.... If you want a divorce, then DO IT!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 9:13pm

Katt,


Karen is right. If you are happy and feel some peace now that you have lived separately, there's little point to going back to your husband. He sounds very controlling and his demands you try some kind of 4 month trial period of reunion are just more manipulation.


Before you file divorce papers and have him served do some homework. Where are all your assets? Do you still have any joint bank accounts, credit cards, loans, insurance, etc? Same with debts. If so, set about getting these things taken care of. Close out joint accounts and set up your own, in your own name. Seek legal advice before you file about what rights and responsibilities you have in a divorce. Do all this before you serve papers. You'll be in a much better position to weather any threats and he'll have less leverage over you. Do you own your own home, car, or other property? Ask about how to protect that from a vengeful spouse before you file. You have the advantage here because he's not living nearby and you can come and go as you please.


I'd also ask about filing an order of protection against him if he does become violent or stalks you.


Good luck and let us know how you are doing.


CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2007
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 10:10am

Thank you both for the advice.


He is being manipulative, I am just so used to it I cant see that it is happening anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 12:17am

Katt,

Keep in mind that he needs you far more than you need him. That being said, you absolutely do not need to feel any guilt over your decision to leave. No one can "make" you do anything or feel anything. I am so happy to hear you're taking charge of your life and realizing that you have control over your own desires and actions.

Best of luck to you.

Maitri