Help! Cried first time(mixed emotions)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2002
Help! Cried first time(mixed emotions)
9
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 12:17pm

We ended this marriage so weird (but, our whole short marriage was weird) one minute were antique shopping and making love, trying to work on this marriage and talking and the next we don't talk for a few days and i'm not back living in his house by a certain date. So he tells me to go to his attorneys office and sign the divorce papers...WHAT!!!! Now were done...When he doesn't get his way, everyone pays.

My emotions are running crazy, very bad day today...Would it be good to call and leave a msg while he is at work or email him and ask him if he is happy with what he has done and if he is proud of what he has done..I know he is also sad from the last time I talked with him..3 weeks ago...

Then there is another part of me that wants to RIP his head off for all the hell he put my boys and myself through...Every one has been so much help on these boards and I thank you...Victoria

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 12:50pm

Emotions suck, don't let them drag you down. I have had few bad days in the last 4wks, I've had some good times so far too. Think about the bad things, that's what keeps me going strong out weigh the good with the bad. That may not help a whole lot, but it does help. I'm always thinking of the crap he put me through the tears I've cried, the time I waisted. Don't be blue, hold that head up high, for you and your kids!!

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 9:17am

A relationship isn't all about what he wants on his terms......... and for that, I'd opt to dream about ripping his head off.... how dare he!


I think that, ultimately, if you sign those papers...... he'll be the one in the end to pay.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2002
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 10:33am

Your right! He has always made hasty decisions and then has told me that he has regretted it. He has made a ton of bad ones...

Gave his 3 kids up for adoption
taking my dog (never to be seen again)
taking my personal things and my boys things
selling my boys personal property
The list goes on and on and on~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Why am I even wasting my energy thinking about him.....Because I fell in LOVE with him...but I don't LIKE him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 11:43am
You need to cut off all contact with this man.
Sanguine
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2002
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 12:49pm
I don't want to see him...and I have not spoken to him since August 4th...I would just like to have the last word and just let him hang on that...I have been to enough therapy through our church (both of us)...He was not like this when I dated him...Two different men. I really don't know this man and the man I dated never exsisted..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 1:54pm

I would just like to have the last word and just let him hang on that...


He will not view it as you getting the "last word."

Sanguine
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2002
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 2:45pm

Sanguine~You are sooo right

With me NOT contacting him...I'm sure he has been wondering what the H*ll I 've been up to and doing..The not knowing drives anyone nuts..do you agree or not?

I'm sure with him telling me to REFRAIN MYSELF from calling him...he was probably in the back of his mind hoping I would. I'm sure he wanted me to plead to continue to see him. Thats the kind of games he plays..

At one point he wanted to date me and stay committed to me when the divorce was final and then when we talked about 4 wks ago he didn't want that..

Thanks for keeping me on my toes...Victoria

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 3:20pm
Print that list so that you are reminded.... it will help to start separating your emotions.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2005
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 3:32pm
Hi Victoria! I think you sound as if you are getting very strong and catching on to this guys manipulative ways. Good for you! It's so hard to see when you're stuck in the middle of it all. I know, I 'm there now. I was doing so much better when I stopped all communication with my husband. I felt freed- strong- empowered. I have since began communicating with him. And, while for the most part it's amicable, I have had to sacrifice some of that freeing strength, and feel less empowered. Take it from me, someone who thought I had a few things left to say and broke the silence with the husand, it's not worth it. It's harder to stop talking to him now that I have started again. I wish I never had! Good luck to you!