Help--I cannot get out of bed!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
Help--I cannot get out of bed!
5
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 11:58pm

I am so depressed. I haven't gotten out of bed for three days, and I have been wearing the same sweatsuit for a week.

My STBX and I are still living under the same roof, and I think that is a huge part of the problem. It is just so different now, with us living on different floors and barely uttering a word to one another if we should happen to pass in the foyer.

My friends and family say I should get over it and move on, but I am having such a hard time letting go. He was the most important person in my life for 9 years, and now he doesn't love me anymore. I have a birthday in two weeks, and I look at all I have lost over the last year and am sick to my stomach. I fear I will end up a spinster, because I cannot help but compare every man to my husband, and find that they all come up dreadfully short. I am no longer young, I have gained weight, and anyway, what man would want someone who's at a serious risk of developing bedsores?

Because my husband was my business partner, I have no idea where I am going to go from here. I have a job opportunity outside of the country, and I think I am going to take it. I realize that my leaving means the end of all hope, but perhaps I should have given up hope a long time ago. All it's done is made this blow all the harder.

How did all of you find the strength to get up, dust off, and...well, shower?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2003
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 12:16am
I UNDERSTAND YOUR DEPRESSION.....BUT DUE TO MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE I WOULD SUGGEST BEING LONELY AND IN BED WILL WORSEN YOUR DEPRESSION.....GET UP TAKE A SHOWER....WEAR YOUR BEST OUTFIT.....AND HAVE A NICE CUP OF COFFEE SOMEWHERE WHERE U CAN FEEL CALMNESS INSIDE U.....IT DOES NOT NECESSARY HAVE TO BE CROWDED PLACE BUT WHERE U CAN SEE PEOPEL AROUND........JUST FOR A CHANGE.....I KNOW I CANT SAY THAT STOP THINKING ABT HIM BUT ATLEAST THINK ABOUT HIM IN A DIFFERENT WAYS. MAYBE YOU CAN IMPROVE AND STRANGTHEN RELATIONSHIP WHEN ANALYZING IT IN YOU. GOOD LUCK.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 7:33pm

I know where you're coming from because I've been there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 12:19am
Thank you, both of you, for responding. I hope this gets better. Unfortunately, it seems to only be getting worse. I am just devastated. :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 9:30pm

God bless you....Not only have i been sick with bronchitis but my husband and i have decided to end our marriage too. Today for the first day in 6days i finally got out of bed........took a shower...got in the car and went to wallmart just to get out of the house. I only needed dogfood, and i live out in the country and a store is a far piece away, but it did me good! yes, i cried while driving and felt like a zombi in the store but some little piece of me said i was going to be ok as long as i did not say stuck in my bedroom in my dark hole. I am now going to vow to get out there and get help and this is one way of doing it by posting on here and hopefully make friends online who will give me the strength to get thru this separation and anxiety!


Honestly, get out in this beautiful fall weather.........go to boarders books.......grab a latte and a good book or just write in a diary.........just get out there! The rest will follow! God loves us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 11:09am

Hi there


I so understand how you feel. I'm in the same position. My H told me nearly 2 weeks ago that he wants to leave me. He still loves me a little bit (not as much anymore though) and wants to be a free man. I'm devastated.