I am so sorry to hear of your pain. You have certainly been through alot. But you're here on this board and your heart is still beating - as corny as it sounds that means something. My XF moved out on July 4th. We were together for 6yrs and have a four yr old together. Our relationship was turbulent and he was physically and mentally abusive and I winded up doing the same as well. I told him to leave - I couldnt take it anymore. And since he's been gone he has been vacationing at his mom and dads house being catered to
I feel it's strange and yet so common that as women we give these men empowerment - I think its b/c its so simple. I left my abusive ex to go to this...I felt like I was a glutton. At this point now I feel the same in terms of not trusting a man again. Ive been w/ 2 bad men and even tho there were good times I see friends of mine who have not been cheated on...the b/f's or husbands after yrs of being w/ them still have blinders on when we go out b/c they are still IN LOVE...there's a man out there who would never call a woman a CU#T..i gasp all the time lol. People tell me you will find that man that knows ur worth. Right now it dosent feel that way...but what I do know is that there is hope that anything is still possible. And here's this...my mom tells me would I ever allow a woman to treat my son the way his father treats me. I yell out a huge NO....then why do we let it happen to us.
Its going to take time and Im sure you know that since ur previous marriage...and even tho this ex didnt physically abuse you ...you are abusing urself by letting him have the power. Im a firm believer in taking ur time to grieve but also...get mad...he never took a vacation w/ you but he did w/ her...get mad...say hell no LOL...it helps. Keep coming back to this board and vent...write 500 pages on this board to get it all out of ur system b/c you need to...ur still processing it...you havent let go yet but you will...if we did it before we can do it again....lets stay strong....
I am so sorry to hear of your pain. You have certainly been through alot. But you're here on this board and your heart is still beating - as corny as it sounds that means something. My XF moved out on July 4th. We were together for 6yrs and have a four yr old together. Our relationship was turbulent and he was physically and mentally abusive and I winded up doing the same as well. I told him to leave - I couldnt take it anymore. And since he's been gone he has been vacationing at his mom and dads house being catered to
Thank you for the reply.
I feel it's strange and yet so common that as women we give these men empowerment - I think its b/c its so simple. I left my abusive ex to go to this...I felt like I was a glutton. At this point now I feel the same in terms of not trusting a man again. Ive been w/ 2 bad men and even tho there were good times I see friends of mine who have not been cheated on...the b/f's or husbands after yrs of being w/ them still have blinders on when we go out b/c they are still IN LOVE...there's a man out there who would never call a woman a CU#T..i gasp all the time lol. People tell me you will find that man that knows ur worth. Right now it dosent feel that way...but what I do know is that there is hope that anything is still possible. And here's this...my mom tells me would I ever allow a woman to treat my son the way his father treats me. I yell out a huge NO....then why do we let it happen to us.
Its going to take time and Im sure you know that since ur previous marriage...and even tho this ex didnt physically abuse you ...you are abusing urself by letting him have the power. Im a firm believer in taking ur time to grieve but also...get mad...he never took a vacation w/ you but he did w/ her...get mad...say hell no LOL...it helps. Keep coming back to this board and vent...write 500 pages on this board to get it all out of ur system b/c you need to...ur still processing it...you havent let go yet but you will...if we did it before we can do it again....lets stay strong....
You're story sounds exactly like my first marriage.