Help- not sure how to deal with divorce
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 03-19-2006 - 10:55pm |
This is the short version of my sitiuation. Jan 26 my father was critically injured and my husband informed me an ex girlfriend contacted him.
by that monday my father was in for neck surgery and was todl he would be a quaderpligic ( spelling is off) and my husband told me he stilled loved his x.
oh yeah and I'm 9 month pregnet with our first child due 2/18
My husband and I been together for 8 years. Married 2 1/4.
I thought after the baby came he'd change.
that did not happend I came home from hospital on wensenday, friday night he went out with her and did not come home... he has spent more time with her than our son in the first month of his life. and now he is ready for a divorce, and he wants me to make a decision on what I'm going to do with my life. Basically do I want to stay where we live or move back with my family. Do I want the house and what I want in it..
I don't understand how he can fall back in love with an x girlfriend he never said anything good about and that cheated on him. And how can she be more important than his son. durring one argument he actually told me he was trying not to attach to him because he knew he was leaving us.. this was when our son was 1 week old.
how do I make him realize that he need to spend time with his son
and how do I make the decisions when I still love him
WHY do I still love him after this.
my father is still in hospital but getting better each day and is okay with is diagonsis

The baby is doing good. I'm very lucky is is great baby.
He only wakes up once a night which is good.
He is 5 weeks old today.
I will keep you posted on what is going on, thank you for you help.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this at once.
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f39/cry
taby, I can not imagine what you are going through! It's difficult enough to be pregnant, let alone deal with your father's accident and your husband's admission.
First, I know you do not want to move back in with your family, but do you have good family support?
Second, it doesn't sound as if you've seen a lawyer yet. I would make an appointment with one ASAP. Most will give a free or very low-cost initial consultation. It's important that you protect your interests and your child's. Our community web site also has great resources.
Third, have you sought out counseling? You are going through SO much right now! You father's accident, you're a new mom, the divorce. Please do this for yourself. And make sure you are getting sleep and eating well. They sound like small things, but really make a difference.
As for still loving your STBX...you were blindsided by what happened. It must have been a HUGE shock. Of course you're still going to have feelings. That's perfectly normal. It may not seem this way right now, but with counseling and time, you WILL feel better. You deserve so much more than this.
Please keep us posted on how you're doing.
Thank you everyone for your support and words of encurragment.
I do have a good family support system. I have another relative going through a divorce to we are leaning on each other. I have a number of friends and his family supporting me.
I am looking in the a lawyer. I use to work for one back home and was going to contact him for advise, while I figure out. While I'm looking for one up here.. I'm looking in to child support cause my husband think he knows how it work and thats not how it is. I fear the GF will try to confince him to get custoday. Even though she does not want her own kids. think its just away to hurt me... she'd do it..
thank again to everyone,
My father is doing better may actually make to rehab soon, which will be great. And the baby is wonderful