HELP - STBX Diagnosed w/Bipolar Disorder

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2012
HELP - STBX Diagnosed w/Bipolar Disorder
4
Fri, 02-15-2013 - 2:32pm

McPayton esp...my STBX just told me he has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.  My immediate concern is for my DS who is 6yrs old.  We split custody 50/50 on a 2 week rotation and DS is about to be with my STBX this weekend.  Do I need to be concerned about his safety?

On a side note, this validates so much of what I saw and thought and tried to get him to get help for while we were married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2014
Sun, 03-16-2014 - 12:17am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 1:00pm

My XH was diagnosed with depression after a suicide attempt after we separated.  I was supportive of his recovery and kept the girls much more than our 50/50 arrangement while he was in therapy and tried to work on himself.  I didn't ask for more CS..... I didn't get anything in writing.  It ended up being one of the worst decisions since the separation.  Be supportive of him healing through his mental illness, but make sure you have legal advice about what to do during this time.

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2012
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 8:10am
Thanks Musiclover12! My STBX has not been officially diagnosed yet. He started seeing a therapist last week and apparently she believes he is bipolar and wants him to go to an MD/Psychiatrist for the official diagnosis. He is saying he is going to continue with counseling and will go along with whatever medication recommendations are made. He has never been physically abusive so after your post and some reading on my own I feel much better about my DS's safety.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 02-15-2013 - 7:15pm

I also have an ex who has bipolar disorder.  The first question--is your STBX on medication & going to counseling?  You should insist on that.  As far as safety, do you mean physical safety?  Having bipolar doesn't necessarily make a person violent.  My ex was my 2nd DH--he had a DD from the 1st marriage and he was widowed when his DD was 3--somewhere in there he had a 2nd marriage, I don't know exacly when, and then when I met him his DD was 10--so there were years when he raised her alone.  He didn't physically abuse her, but I would say there was some emotional abuse.  Of course everybody is different, so it's hard to judge what your DH will do based on my ex.  The big thing for me would be--can he control his anger in stressful situations?  My ex was big on overreacting.  I hated to have to tell him that his DD did something wrong--and she was a doozy.  Her life would have been a lot easier had she not done stupid things.  Her dad actually had very reasonable rules that she would break (like not talking on the cell phone at 2:00 am on a school night) but then once she set him off, it was hard for him to stop the yelling.  Ironically I think he was actually much better when she was little--little kids are usually easier to manage, they aren't rebellious like teens.  I don't know if that helped much.