Here We Go Again
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 1:08pm |
Hi ladies,
Ive been keeping up with reading posts but didnt have to make any b/c things were "normal" for a while. Well ofcourse it seems to never last.
Ex is back to his old tricks again, I just cant stand him. He comes to get ds on saturday and as he was approaching he had a letter in his hand and I thought oh boy what will this be about. He talks to ds then as i start to walk away he says how child support wrote him a letter saying they are going to seize his bank account due to the arrears and he's in the process of trying to file for his citizenship and they will deny it when they check him out and see he owes c.s. He wants ME to write a letter to c.s saying I want to cancel the arrears. HA HA HA. Gee let me get my pen and paper and start writing immediately. He's crazier than I thought. So I told him he needs to get a job and his problems will be solved. He goes on and on about if he gets sent back to Jamaica how it's a lose lose situation for me I wont get anything. I told him Im not getting anything now anyway so. I said you got alot of nerve even asking me for anything, you havent paid support for months and dont even ask is ds needs anything.
I caught myself that I was engaging him and told him look your supposed to be spending time with ds Im not gonna do this and started to walk away again. He follows saying does he need food, if he does I should make a list and he will get him the food. He's such a liar. A couple of weeks ago I asked him to get ds water and he said he couldnt, he had no money, I had to give him $1.25 for the water.
He left pissed ofcourse. When he returned with him as hot as it was on saturday he had long jeans on ds. I asked where was the shorts I put on him he said they were wet. I told him well bring them back tomorrow, I need them for next week and the jeans are too hot. They must have took him to the beach b/c when we got in the elevator, ds said I wanna go to the beach with daddy. So I asked him if he went to the beach and he said yes. Then later on he said I saw the seagulls. That's fine.
Sunday comes, I call to remind him about the shorts, now its he thinks he left them in Long Island and he may not be "able" to get them. I knew it was going to be a loss. The pick up comes and ofcourse no shorts. So I asked him if he used sunscreen when he took him to the beach, he says no. So I said if you take him again can you use sunscreen. He says he doesnt need it. My pressure was boiling but I kept calm and said his skin is sensitive and he needs the sunscreen, he said he knows how to take care of him he never used sunscreen and he dont need, I told him I dont care what you do, he is my only concern. What an a-hole. Drop off comes and still no shorts. I go to change ds he has his pull up on backwards. He would always send him home with his diaper rash cream, this time he kept it. Coincidence, I dont know but too many "little things" have started to happen again. And this only starts when he expects me to do something for him and I dont.
He calls after he leaves, asking for him next saturday which is my weekend and I told him I have plans, it's my weekend. He says everyday is my day, can he get him, I told him no. Then he asked to speak to him, I gave him the phone but I put it on speaker. That s.o.b tells our son you wanna see daddy next saturday, tell mommy you want to see me. I'll take you to the beach even though mommy wont like it, tell her you want to go with me. I took the phone and told him dont you dare do that again. He was like why are you listening in on my phone calls and I told him I could hear you and I hung up. What a manipulative bas%^$d! So now that he's pissed at me he will start these games again. Here we go.

UHHH MEN! Doesn't he realize that the ONLY, and I mean O N L Y one he is hurting is your son? Ex husbands can be so horrible to the kids and they don't even know it. Horrible.
-DBC
"I told him Im not getting anything now anyway so."
Good Girl!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Tell me about it. Our son had taken 3 of his cars with him, I tried to get him to leave them home but he wanted to "show daddy". I told ex make sure you send them back they are his favorite. It didnt occur to me when he dropped him off to check the bag for them, Im usually good with that stuff but I was still regrouping from the pick up and the nonsense. So after a while ds started asking for his cars. Nothing in the bag. I called ex and asked him if he could bring them back. He said he's home already. I said I told you they were important, he had the nerve to tell me well ds has to learn to be more responsible. He's 3 years old. I was livid. I told him it was his responsibility! It will be 2 weeks before he sees him again and he's asking for them, he tells me to buy him some more. Like I have money to just keep replacing things he deliber He's a piece of crap. Then he says well let me get him next weekend and he'll only have to wait a week knowing its my weekend. I told him no.
I then told him I know why your doing this. Your making him suffer to get at me, everything you do is going to come back to you. Nothing good is going to come to you. He was like and your gonna see to that right. I told him it has nothing to do with me. I was so ticked off. I just hung up after. What kind of a "father" does that. So now I have to be on my P's and Q's with him. The things we have to deal with. Ugh.
Ooooo...these power plays that he does drive me nuts! I know it's easy to say you should go to Goodwill and buy clothing for your DS that you won't care if it doesn't come back........I don't know about you, but I don't always have the cash to throw around buying things constantly, even at Goodwill! It's obvious he does this purposely to punish you financially so you have to go out and replace the necessary things he doesn't send back.
The guy is a serious manipulator. Just keep doing what you're doing...ignore what you can and try not to engage. Trust me, I know how hard that is sometimes.
This would happen to my brother-in-law when his son would come to his house on the weekends, his mom would send him with nothing, so he would go out and buy him clothing because she wouldn't send him with anything and then of course he would wear the clothes home at the beginning or bring the clothes with him and he'd never see the clothes again, then he wised up to that, and he would change his son out of those clothes before he'd drop him off and put him back in whatever she put him in to begin with and leave the clothes he bought for him at his house. It was ridiculous. He was paying her $200 dollars a week for his son and yet she wouldn't send any clothing with him on the weekends to spend with his father. It was just a big game to her to get back at his father because my BIL didn't want to be with her. She was so petty.
I think the Goodwill idea is smart. Buy inexpensive clothes you don't mind losing and as far as the cars being left at dads well, I guess your son can play with them at dads house, if your ex is going to be that petty, begging for them back isn't going to work and you can't be replacing every toy your son leaves there.
Smile,
Deirdre