Here we go...I guess
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 08-03-2006 - 11:49pm |
I've been on here a couple times awhile back, but I think things are finally to an ending point. About a year ago now me and my husbands relationship started going down hill. Around this time last year he changed like night and day. One day he was totally into our relationship, the next day he was out. I let it go for a couple weeks then finally confronted him, asking him if something was wrong. He said, I'm just not sure what I want anymore. To make a long story short, after months of being very confused about his fence sitting actions, I finally found out he was having an affair with a woman at his work. After finding out, I was devistated, but in a way, somewhat relieved because now there were some answers to his very odd, inconsiderate, heartless actions towards me and his family (we have two children, 4 & 2). Anyway, after the initial shock, i still wanted to try to make things work but he never really came back into the marriage or the family. He just kept fence sitting, being really nice, acting like he cared, but never said he wanted to work on things, never said he would do whatever it took to make things right. He still just kept fence sitting, even after he stopped seeing the other woman. It's like he did everything he could not to let me give up on us, but he wasn't doing anything to make "us" better. He just wanted to continue doing what he was doing. Having his cake and eating it too. He kept us close enough where he felt he wouldn't lose us, but far enough away that he could continue living the life of a single man.
Finally, about 2 weeks ago I told him he had to move out. Since then, he's been really nice, showing affection, changing some behaviors, but still not saying he wants our life back. Again, still I think manipulating the situation to keep himself in the loop just in case he wants to come back and he gets tired of his new life.
Today I found out he has been joking around with his friend at work about our relationship, acting as if it's a big joke. He even jokes around with co-workers about his failed relationship with the OW, saying things like...yeah, I had to let her go, she was just to clingy. What's that? Around me he acts like he's so confused, knows he's done wrong but doesn't know how to fix what he's done so is not sure we could ever salvage this relationship. Still says, I love you and the kids and I'm always here for you I just need to get my sh$t straightened out first. Thinking some time apart will do that for him.
Now I'm p$ssed more than anything because I feel like I'm just getting used. He's tugging on my heartstrings, using the fact that I love him, love my family, love the life we had, to keep me hanging on. When in fact, he's making a joke out of it.
I feel that's the last straw. Even though I would like us to work out, I don't think I could ever forgive him using me and his kids like this for his own personal enjoyment.
What do you all think?

I think you need to make him leave. And not back down from it. What has he done for you? He cheated on you and he finds that bragging about it is acceptable? That is very immature and proves that he is not worthy of you.
Anyway, at this point, he should be kissing your behind and showing you what he will do if you consider taking him back. If he isn't, what is the point? Right?