He's disguisting....
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| Thu, 01-04-2007 - 4:19pm |
My kids are now teenagers and now interested in girls. My 15 year old has had a few girlfriends, I'm not thrilled but it's part of high school and life. Last night I went into his room, he was on the phone with his latest gf, had her on speaker phone and was breaking up with her. Now, my stbx was in the room too (long story but he was just picking up the kids) along with one of my son's friends. I lost it, told him to take her off speaker phone, told him she was a very nice girl and deserved to be treated with respect and that meant doing this in private. I was SO upset, I just completly lost my cool. I looked at STBX at said "how could you let him do this"? He said he didn't see anything wrong with it...I was so mad I didnt' even think before I spoke...I told him it figured coming from a guy who cheated many times during our marriage. I told my son how inconsiderate he was, it was rude, mean and that is not the way he is to treat a girl. I cried as I told him this....all the while telling my stbx to get the hell out of my house. This was one of my fears, the boy's turning out like their dad. Thinking it's ok to be like this..I know I can't do more than talk to them and hope for the best. How sad their dad is such a disguisting person.
Rhonda

So sorry that you have had to do this with your sons. You are right, that was a wrong thing for your ex to tell your child that he saw nothing wrong with it. However, it is one of those things that we have to live with because we cannot control their behavior.
I know it really stinks and I HATE IT! But, you can talk to your sons and tell them calmly that it was inappropriate behavior. Teens are trying to find their way around the world as young adults and they do not always make appropriate choices. Keep talking to your sons and let them know the lines of communication are open. You are only able to control your behavior and no one else's that includes your children. You can talk to them, but we as parents can guide, lead, teach by example but in the end the children will make the choices themselves. Good luck!! >>>HUGS<<< to help keep you strong and sane when insanity hits the hardest!! You have support here and keep posting!!
--Joy
Rhonda,
I probably would've handled the same situation the same way... and hopefully, your son realizes that... regardless of the cheerleaders... that was a bad... and disrespectful... way to handle the situation.
Hummm.... another reminder why you're divorcing him (and letting your kids see the reality of what that behavior will earn them in their futures if they choose it).
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Sports,
My two cents: Sounds like you were more upset with the topic of your son's phone conversation than whether he's "turning out like his father." Think about it. He was breaking up with a girlfriend. That reminds you of the fact your husband broke up with you. Easy to get emotional about it don't you think?
That said, I do agree your son needs to learn to be considerate of others feelings, even when he's so young. He won't understand how it feels until he's on the receiving end of the "bye, bye" bit.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020