He's going to hurt me or worse our dd...
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| Sun, 07-31-2005 - 4:14am |
I can't go through this anymore. I'm terribly scared of my ex, he continues to threaten me and nobody can do one single thing. Social Services, the police, my lawyer, everyone says that in order to do anything to him, he has to physically hurt me and my daughter again. So, I go day to day scared that he's going to come after me...b/c he can...and nobody cares.
He physically attacked the mother of the guy I'm seeing tonight. He was so mad that she was at the establishment that he was at that he had to be physically dragged off of her. He's crazy and my daughter and I are next.
He threatens to kidnap our dd...he threatens to hurt me....what do I do? How can this even be happening? I'm scared...and I'm just a sitting duck...
He continuously calls my phone...if I don't answer he leaves ugly, hateful, and terribly scary messages. No one cares about them...he has to act on the threats before they will do anything. All he gets is a slap on the wrist. So what, will justice only be served after he freaking kills me or kidnaps my daughter? What kind of justice is that? I thought the law was to protect people...evidentally not....
What do I do.....
Kait

I can't believe you have to live like this. Is there anyone who can stay with you--at least some of the time so that you feel more safe? Do you have supportive family around who can look out for you and check in on you? I do agree with the other poster about the restraining order. They don't work and they tend to piss the guys off to the point where they terrorize you even more. Did the mother call the police on this guy? At least documentation can start so there is a case building against him.
I am just furious that we see and hear all of this rhetoric and such about the importance of children and families, but the system seems to support abusive men over all others--even upstanding guys get no respect, but a criminal has rights...
Hi Kait,
While some of the other posters have said that ROs don't work, and indeed, if someone wants to harm you, a paper can't stop them, at least if you had a RO the police would be aware that there is a problem. Did you file a complaint with the State Police? I cannot believe that you haven't been able to get a RO-- I have a RO aginst my BIL for ONE email threat 2 years ago. What state do you live in? If he is threatening you with bodily injury, and kidnapping your daughter, then what is the problem with the police?? Does he have guns? Does he drink/use drugs? If he DOES, then that changes the picture.
Keep a record of the messages he leaves. Can you have someone stay with you, or can you go to a shelter for battered women?
Did your boyfriend's mother file an assault report against your ex? If she DID, then that may work in your favor if you try to get a RO. That's what happened when I applied for the RO against BIL. Since he was in the court system already for an assault & battery, then they granted me the RO, just to be safe.
Please keep us posted, and be safe.
Susie
Contact the Victims Advocate services through the family court. They should be able to help you through in getting a restraining order and lead you in the right direction. Stay safe and follow your instinct.
You are wrong! ABSOLUTLEY something CAN be done about what is happening to you. You are being ABUSED & that is Domestic Abuse & it is ILLEGAL. You need to call the closest Women's Resource Center, Domestic Violence advocate - anything like that. They WILL Help you. Thats what they DO. But they cant if you dont let them.
I think the suggestions of contacting your local domestic violence/women's resource center and the state police are good ones. I hope that the local authorities are mistaken and that there is some legal recourse for you to protect yourself and your daughter. Although I'm not familiar with the laws of your state, I think most states some avenue for the temporary restriction on visitation when one parent has become unstable (and although they may not believe your story alone, the fact that he attacked someone else supports your claim that he is violent and dangerous). I also think you need to seriously consider temporarily moving to a shelter or going to stay with a friend or relative if there's anyone he wouldn't expect you to be with. He's escalating his violence now onto 3rd parties, his last attack on you was very serious, and he's violated your home before. You and your daughter are seriously at risk here, and you need to take every precaution you can to ensure your safety.
-sang