He's gone and I'm at peace

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2004
He's gone and I'm at peace
5
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 8:58am

Funny thing about this divorce. He and I are writing the seperation agreement (ok, well I wrote it and he still hasn't responded even though it's been 3 weeks)and refuses to leave the house until it is signed. He sleeps on the couch and we barely speak. It's been really hard! Anyway, he has been gone on a business trip for the last few days and I found myself really ok. My son was sick and I had to stay home but it seemed fine with me and I haven't felt a thing since he has been gone. He even called last night and I was pleasant!

My point in sharing is that I realized that the reason I cried all the time wasn't because I wanted him back...it was that he was around to rub it in my face that we aren't together anymore. With him gone, I feel the scab beginning to form. He comes back tonight so I'm sure this blissful time will be short lived!!!

Why he would want to live like this is beyond me so I'm praying the papers come back to me soon!!!

Thanks for letting me share...I love this site!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 9:04am
I hope your healing continues. (Maybe him coming home won't pick at the scab.) Welcome to the board. Pull up a chair and share with us anytime. There are lots of wonderful people here with wonderful advice. Take care of you! Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 9:15am

Hi there, I can really relate to your post. There were many times I remember driving up to the house just praying that his truck wouldn't be in the driveway and really looked forward to the times he was out of town for work.

Hang in there and I'm sure you will feel a huge weight has been lifted when he finally goes. Good luck on getting your agreement signed sooner rather than later.

Trudy

 

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Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:49am

I know just how you feel. I spent years worrying that if my ex decided yet again that he didn't love me that I would never be able to make it on my own. I feared being a single mom, yet I was already a single mom- with a crappy adult child in the house! Once the decision was made it was like a huge weight was lifted off of me, and you know, once he left the house (three months later) my life got EASIER - not harder! I just had my kids and me to care for and man, are we easy compared to him! Hang in there...

Melanie

edited to say that HE is the scab, when he falls off and goes away you will be healed! LOL




Edited 2/23/2006 10:51 am ET by eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 12:56pm

Hello and Welcome!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:10pm

It's extremely hard to live with your ex- I admire your strength. You'll be fine- keep counting the days till it's over and sell the couch if he doesn't get the message. For me, the hardest part is having to keep seeing my ex when he picks up and drops off the kids four times a week. At least he's not still in the house (when I'm home).

Laura