He's gone from dh to stbx.
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He's gone from dh to stbx.
| Fri, 05-27-2005 - 8:42am |
In my mind I'm just going to start refering to him as the stbx. We talked (VERY briefly) last night and to be quite frank, I'm not ranting and raving angry, nor am I weepy sad. More like resigned to the fact and somewhat irritated that he's being such a complete idiot! He's throwing away a very nice family. He brought up the time I got angry with him on the phone a week ago, and I said "that was one time, why are you focusing on this?" See, I'm confused because in 8 years of marriage, we've had some doozie fights like anyone else. This was more like an irritated verbal conversation than a full blown fight. I mean, no speghetti ended up on the cealing (a funny eary marriage fight). He just told me that he was going to be working like he is now for over a year at least (we're talking leaving the house at 7am getting home at 10:30 or so 7 days a week). He missed my son's 1st grade open house last night. When I asked him if he'd be able to make it he asked when it was, I said 6:30, he said "No way in h@!!, I've got to be at such and such a place at 7). So I went alone with my son. He told me he doesn't blame me for wanting out or being angry with him, but he also doesn't have anything to give me. Funny thing is, he keeps telling me he doesn't blame ME for wanting out, but HE'S the one who keeps bringing it up, not so subtly hinting towards it without actually saying the words "divorce". Right now, besides being angry that he's throwing our family away, I'm also angry that I've stuck by him through all the lean times (anorexic, financially speaking from time to time) and now that he's FINALLY going to be making BIG money, he starts hinting of divorce. Well I REFUSE to bring it up first because at this point in time it benefits me more to stay married to the man. It's basically like we're divorced anyway, only I have to do his laundry. I just think it's sad that he's throwing away his family for a factory. He could easily have both. I don't require loads of attention. I haven't even received a present from him for Christmas in 2 years, so I'm not materialistic (or I would have left him in those anorexic years long ago). All I want is for him to love me. For him to tell me he understands it's hard right now, but he still loves me. But he said he doesn't have that in him. I've accepted that. If I can't have love from the man, than I think I at least deserve the financial payoff for sticking with him all these years and helping him get that stupid plant built.

Hey Jen,
Hang in there. You are not to blame here. Just remember that. He's a selfish, foolish idiot for focusing 100% on his factory. he'll lose the time with your kids that is crucial right now....and when he's ready to be a "dad", it'll be too late. I've btdt with my kids.
Jen, I know you said he wasn't cheating....but my gut is telling me something other than the factory is up. I dont know. Does it really matter now? Not really. the damage is done and he said his intentions were to divorce. But protect yourself....
HUGE hugs
Deb
By the way-his name can be SFI (Selfish, Foolish, Idiot) ;)
"....but my gut is telling me something other than the factory is up. I dont know. Does it really matter now? Not really."
exactly. I suspect he likes his secretary. I don't think he's crossed that line yet, but I suspect he will eventually. Hey, do me a favor and see what you think of this attorney. I think they look pretty reputable. I don't know what the rules are specifically about this but I'm NOT trying to solicit anyone. I'm only asking a friend for her opinion. The attorney's website is www.ruppertandschaefer.com
Also as for calling him the SFI, I'm a simple girl and was thinking more along the lines of the DA (Dumb ---) or DF (Dumb Fart {hmm only not fart}) But SFI certainly describes him in my book!
Btw, feel free to post those pictures of my kids.
Edited 5/27/2005 3:25 pm ET ET by steinberg7381
"I'm also angry that I've stuck by him through all the lean times (anorexic, financially speaking from time to time)..."
Why is it a sacrifice for some women to stay in a marriage when money is tight, but it much more acceptable for a man to support his family and wife, even if she is a SAHM or going to school? Just curious...
Jen,
I would say that your emotion (or lack therof) is a clear sign that you're ready to make this move.
Sorry I've not been around much this week..... it's been really busy, but I've been thinking about you!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~