He's having his mommy write letters tome
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| Thu, 06-08-2006 - 4:33pm |
STBX & I have a storage business, and I sent STBX a letter requesting to be reimbursed for a few hundred dollars of out of pocket expenses that I incurred doing the invoicing. I just received a reply from him, but it is blatantly evident that his mommy wrote the letter for him, and he signed it. He AND his mother are disgusting, pathetic jerks. Whoever wrote it dragged our son into it, saying:
"I believe this course of action will ease tensions and benefit you and me as well as our sons, especially _____. Your prompt attention and response to this matter will be very much appreciated, so that things can continue on an even keel and will not escalate into futher action."
STBX can barely put 2 sentences together, and I read the letter to my mom, and she said, "That has your MIL ALL over it."
Also in the letter, he/she claims that I billed him for invoicing (I have NEVER billed him one dime in the 3 1/2 years I've done it), and that we agreed that I would give him the invoicing, and now I am supposedly in breach of that agreement.
He claims that since he's paying the mortgage, then he has to "decline" my request for reimbursement. Jerk. The two are separate issues. If I didn't send the invoices out, he wouldn't have the $$$ to PAY the mortgage.
I've left a message for my lawyer... STBX gave me a respond-by date (Monday)... should I write a letter to him, or should I let my lawyer handle it?
This is what I wrote... it made me feel better, even if it doesn't get mailed, and the lawyer deals with it:
<
RE: your letter of 6 June 2006:
The business reimbursement is completely unrelated to any mortgage issues.
I have never billed you for storage invoicing, and have done it and other business tasks without pay for the storage business since January 2003. Over the past year I have paid out of pocket for storage supplies including stamps, paper, envelopes, ink and virus protection. On occasion you refused to give me money to purchase needed business supplies, and I fully expect the business to reimburse me for these costs.
Please send me a copy of the so-called agreement made in 2005.
Your manipulation of our son, _____, with regards to this matter is unfortunate and pathetic. Why should he have anything to do with this matter? In the future, I would appreciate your keeping out children out of our business matters.
In addition, please refrain from having your mother write your letters for you. >>

I have to agree with Sally.... any time you're passing written information... it's "documented"....
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thanks for the revision, Karen. I'd just wanted to be brief with STBX, but I was also totally FURIOUS with him that he'd (or his jerk mom) would put our son in the middle, for no reason whatsoever... I DO want to keep in the part about it being unfortunate that he did that, though.
What is funny, though, is that last week, I sent him copies of the receipts, and the letter I sent him made NO mention of billable hours, just the out of pocket expenses. I have NEVER, ever submitted a bill for billable hours.
I hope my attorney gets back to me this morning... I think she had surgery this week, and may be a bit under the weather.
I will keep you all updated. I'm also going to see if he'll give me grocery money this week... he hasn't given me a DIME in about 7-8 weeks. Even DS has noticed this...
Here's the revision of my letter to him. I think it came out pretty good, thanks for the help, Sally & Karen!
<<8 June 2006
Dear STBX,
RE: your letter of 6 June 2006:
The business reimbursement is completely unrelated to any mortgage issues. I am unaware of any agreement in which you claim that I am responsible for any portion of the mortgage. Could you please furnish me with this for my reference?
I have never billed you for storage invoicing, and have done it and other business tasks without being personally compensated for the storage business since January 2003, so I am unsure as to your meaning when you stated that you “reviewed the charges for storage invoicing and have found someone to do the same for half of what you claim the charges should be”. Over the past year I have paid out of pocket for storage supplies including ink, stamps, paper, envelopes, and virus protection. On occasion you have refused to give me money to purchase needed business supplies, and I fully expect the business to reimburse me for these costs. Please refer to the copies of receipts sent to you on 29 May 2006.
Please send me a copy of the agreement you referenced in your communication that you stated was made in December 2005. I do not have a copy for my reference.
I, too, would like to keep parenting issues separate from business, but I fail to see the connection between our business, its expenses and parenting. If you wish to have further discussion about parenting issues, please address them separately in written communication, either through my attorney, or to one of the counselors working with Tommy.
Thank you. Please respond by Tuesday, 13 June 2006. >>
Edited 6/9/2006 9:02 am ET by susieyippin
That sounds much more professional ;-)
I always like to write correspondance like this.... then wait at least 24 hours to revise and edit before I sent it.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Susie,
I KNOW you are going through consistent frustrations regarding your STBX, but i must say, i have been reading your posts throughout, and the way you handle things with such certainty and strength are such a refreshing sign to allll the drama we are facing. and i know you do not mean for your posts to feature such comedic relief, but because some of our EXs' behavior affords humor all its own as it is drenched in immaturity and poor decisions, your posts often put a smile on my face, or have me cracking up entirely, as a result of how "matter of fact" you handle your STBX -- i love it & find inspiration and empowerment in your example. i know it's not the "popular" answer, but i would've sent your original letter, just to include the classic line: "please refrain from having your mother write your letters for you" (lol!!)
other classics: your STBX having the same book he ridiculed over some years back; the "begging back" post where he told you how many women were "in love" with him (still laughing!) & the day in court after your STBX DENIED trying to run you over!!
again, i so admire your no-nonsense style to navigating alll the BS and control issues many EXs, including MINE, are famous far.
go pick up your tiara, you're hero for the day :)
LOL thanks for the kind words, write_girlie! I don't remember the last time I was called a hero, hee hee! :-D Did you see the post about STBX and the car issues? He is the sole "owner" of our family car (I"ve driven it for 9 years), and sends me the bill for work he did on his own car!!
Going through a divorce can make you crazy, and at this point, I'm really beginning to see the humor in all of it, which is a GOOD sign, I guess.
STBX keeps doing this BS every week, so I'm sure there will be comedic fodder for months (if not YEARS!!) to come!
Oh, the "mom letter" will come up in our counseling session with our DS's social workers this week, I can assure you. :-D :-D I CANNOT wait to see how he tries to weasel out of THAT one. I have a copy of a handwritten letter from him from last Friday, and it looks like a kindergartener wrote it (in stark contrast to the beautifully typed, grammatically PERFECT, legal jargon up the wazoo letter he signed-- written by his legal secretary mother, oh yes)... the closing line was in typical idiot form (he dropped it off at my WORKPLACE), and it read, "I'm just ONE guy, trying to do it all" (he meant financially)-- duh!-- delivering it to my JOB, what a putz. LOL