He's the idiot - Now I feel sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
He's the idiot - Now I feel sad
3
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 10:19pm

o.k. - 2 Friday's ago, Ex was suppose to have kids based upon our verbal agreement that Monday's and Fridays are his days. Because of a discussion with his boss (my father) EX has with him when he returns from a week long visit with OW, he takes it out on me. Basically, long story short, tells me since there is no written agreement about visitation, that I am resposible to pick up kids. He gives me 55 minutes notice (only cuz I had 11 yr old DS call him to make sure he would p/u 5 yr old) that he wasn't picking up 5 yr old. I call him saying it's his nite. He tells me it's not in writing. He tells me alot of stuff I didn't need to hear (how she does this for him, how he made her do this on his motorcycle, how she would love to talk to me, and how she wants to kick my *ss. Yea- we are still in HS- joke she's turning 40) I p/u 5 yr old 5 minutes late. Ex could care that DCYS will be called, if son is not p/u. 5 yr old isn't really close to EX. 5 yr old tells me that his BB coach is nice. Coach is a good dad to his son. 5 year old tells me this but 36 yr old doesn't know what a 5 yr old wants.

So Sat after his BS friday, I leave a message on his home phone about MEM day. (He brings up the fact that his co. cell phone is for business not personal so I refuse to call his cell) He never returns call.

This past FRI, I p/u kids cuz I don't know if he wants to stick it to me and not p/u kids. He leaves message saying he is suppose to have kids. I'm thinking no SH** but last FRI you left me stranded. He shows up at older sons BB games but doesn't say a word about today. Talks to older son today and states "I figures your mom was picking you up". So another day he doesn't have kids.

He hasn't had the kids overnite since 5/21. He owes me $1300.00 technically based on divorce decree. Right now I just want $550.00. He already received a letter regarding alimony which he never paid since divorce final on 5/3/07 which is about $300.00.

After our first visit with my attorney back in January, Ex stated I would have to hunt him down to get my $$. I know my kids are worth it but is it really worth all this negative energy?? Is it a battle for the next 7 years and 13 years? I'm fortunate my parents can and are willing to help and he know that.

Anyways, I feel like my kids are being robbed of their father because of this game. I feel like I have to make sure kids are p/u from daycare otherwise he will get me in trouble with authorities. I know I can have my lawyer write letters and file with the court. He feels like he is above the law. No one can tell him what to do.

I'm so drained. Sorry for the long post. I just like to write sometimes to vent.

Thanks.

Brenda
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 3:32pm

I would be very clear with him that his loss of not being an active responsible parent.... is your gain.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 4:27pm

Is a parenting plan the same as visitation schedule? And is that something a lawyer would write up? Or was it something you and ex worked on together? If one of the parties does live up to the parenting plan, is that party in contempt of court?

It's disconcerning to hear that 6 years into your divorce, your ex still feels you are at his beckon call. I guess it's because they know we will always be there for our children.

Thanks

Brenda
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 4:41pm

Yes, a parenting plan INCLUDES a visitation schedule, among other things that wrap around parenting.... co-parenting.


Our state has a basic draft that we used... and tweaked it to fit our schedule; my attorney prepared it based on the info that I gave her to include... and yes, he's in contempt of court if he doesn't follow the agreement, of course, that would mean I would spend my life documenting his parenting (or lack thereof) and waste my time... and money...


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~