he's just blowing smoke, isn't he?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
he's just blowing smoke, isn't he?
4
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 12:28pm
I gave a heads up to my ex that our son and i would be going to visit a female friend of mine about 3 hours away. We'd be leaving on a Friday morning and coming home on a sunday early afternoon. he tells me I can't take him, and that he's already talked to his lawyer who says I can't take him becasue A) i've had 2 accidents in two months (only one of which was my fault), so I'm a bad driver, and 2) because I have voluntarliy extended his visitation. This wouldn't interefere with his visitation, and I just don't think he really talked to his lawyer and if he did, I doubt he told him I can't take him because of those two things. I have sole physical custody, and we have joint legal custody. Our son is 4, if that makes a difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 12:38pm

check with your legal aid, GAL, etc but if you have sole physical custody, unless it inteferes with his visitation, I don't see how he can stop you.

tina

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 12:50pm
I have no GAL, nor attorney, but it will not interefere with visitation, and if you want to get techincal about it, we've not gone by "court ordered" visitation since it started almost. He has less time, but now has an overnight, which he didn't when the visitation was set up. So the current visitation has nothing to do with what was "ordered". He'll lie just so I can't take him. It's 3 hours away. Not 3 days. He's just mad because he thinks I'm going to visit some guy and take our son into "that situation", and "confuse" him, whereas it really is a girlfriend, one who happens to adore our son. It's just ridiculous. But I have no doubt in my mind that he'll try to get this trip stopped ... and he'll also probably use this as a catalyst to get other things changed too -- like he'll try to say that he can no longer go to the church we attend, because they "brainwash" him ... even though our divorce paperwork says that he is to be rasied in the religion he is currently being raised in .. but he'll also try to have my Mom removed as primary care-giver ... he stays with her while he's not in pre-school, which right now is not at all, but come september will be 3 days a week again, 5 hours per day, and he's with Dad one day, so it's just a matter of a day (and a few assorted hours), but enough that it'll screw me up if he's successful with this mission. . . and he'll lie and have his family and everyone else lie for him. He's told me he has no problem with that before. Of course I'm "Welcome" to go on our weekend trip, i'm just not allowed to take our son ... he, of course, has to stay with him while I am gone. but if I can't take our son, I'm just not going to go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 3:17pm
He is bullying you. You need to stand up to him or you are going to be living like this the next 14 years. You probably need to get some type of legal representation or at least let him know what your attny said (whether you have one or not). Sounds to me like if you are not infringing on his time, what's it to him and you were overly courteous even letting him know what your plans were. BOUNDRIES!!! Better set them now or you can never move on. What a jerk!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 5:03pm
Well I am going to go on the trip. Just have to coordinate with my friend. But ex did tell me that I could go and leave our son with him for the weekend, which no, is not an option, or that we could fly. The city we'd be flying to is small, they do have an airport, but it would require flying from here, to somewhere else, to our destination, and would take longer than it would to just drive. it takes about 3 hours to drive, to fly it'd be seven and it'd also be $1200 for the two of us, and then proceded to tell me he's just looking out for the best interest of our son, that I'm making him do things he doesn't want to do. Ummm, he's 4. i'm sure he'll have to do A LOT of things he doesn't want to do in his childhood. oh, and he told me "if i have to kill you and your family to protect him, i will" nice.