He's marrying the mistress

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2007
He's marrying the mistress
3
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 9:45pm
I just got the call & he's marrying the mistress. 17 years of marriage & 6 years of dsting & I've been offically replaced by the mistress. He had a 2 year affair while my dad died & mom was sick so I didn't know. We've been divorced 2 years & I've been doing so much better. Trust me, I know I'm better off without him. I'm happier and more myself than ever before, but it still hurts. I expected it since they moved in together 2 weeks ago but it still feels like a shock. I'm crying & hurt and not sure why. Has anyone else felt this way?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:33am

Mine married his mistress too. However they divorced as well 3 years later. At least my marriage lasted longer than theirs.

It's understandable that you feel replaced and hurt. Have you gone to counseling to deal with the issues in regards to this?? If not maybe some short term counseling sometimes we take backslides and we don't understand, you've been divorced for 2 years and your doing well but sometimes we need a little help every once in awhile just to get through those feelings.

Don't consider yourself being "replaced", you can never be replaced. You are a unique and wonderful human being, nobody can replace you. HUGS! Hang in there. And when life gets too unbearable for him, maybe someone close to her will become sick and she'll have to take care of them and then what? We all know how well he copes with that.

HUGS!

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 11:49am

I detested my ex and still had an emotional reaction when he married the OW.

Susan

"Success is building a foundation wit

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2006
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 4:21pm
I am there, just where you are. My stbx has been gone since Mid August. He told me 2 weeks after he left that he was going to marry her. Now, after 5 mediation sessions, he stood up and announced the she's pregnant and he wants this over ASAP so he can marry her...so ironic that he wants to get a divorce so he can marry the ho he cheated with to make an "honest woman" out of her. I laugh my butt off everytime I think of it.
Unforntunately (for him), he had agreed previously to stay married to me while I go through a major surgery and recuperation time, so that I may stay on his insurance until I can get my own. (in writing for 6 months). He now has changed his mind, as that would mean that she'll be unmarried when the baby comes, but, not my problem. So, I so know how you feel. I was only married for 7.5 years, so I guess I'm not in as bad a way as you, but you know what? Since he made his big announcement that she was going to have his kid, I felt kind of "free". I know, it sounds corny, but I honestly feel like he is her problem now. No more verbal abuse from him, no more crap in general. I cried alot, but I think I'm over that hump. Its still rejection and there is no way around that, but who's got it worse? The poor simp who is stuck with my stbx or me, the one who learned what a butthead she was married to and is moving on?
I wish you good luck and I hope that you will find the other side of your mountain. I promise that it is there.
Hugs,
Lisa