He's not getting it!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
He's not getting it!!!
5
Sat, 04-26-2008 - 8:18pm
OK So I told my husband last week that I am done with this M and he was angry..begged me to reconsider, etc... I told him that I am just not in love anymore. So he said we should try to talk to someone and I said I dont think it would change anything..some how he got in his head that I was willing to try again. I feel like I have to Re breakup with him. I cant handle this much more. So I have been looking at apartments and wondering if I should just not say anything until I am able to up and leave? It sounds so mean but I dont know what else to do...thank you!!! (we've been married for 1 yr/together for 13, with 2 kids)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Sat, 04-26-2008 - 9:03pm
Sorry to hear he's not hearing you. Have you laid the issues out on the table? Have there been problems for a while? I hope you find the path that leads you where you'd like to go...Hang in there!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 12:20am

As one who was 'left' and was surprised by the announcement from my H that he wanted a divorce - I can understand your husband's feelings.
Remember this is all new to him. It is hard to hear that your spouse no longer loves you - especially when you have been together so long.
He will *get it* sooner or later but it does take time to get over the shock and denial of the whole situation. It has been over two months now and I am just really getting it now.
I would suggest being patient but firm (it would be cruel to give false hope and then yank the rug out again later when you find a place to move out). My H moved immediately into a different part of the house - which sent a strong message to me (not one I wanted to hear but I heard it).

It takes time to absorb this kind of news. Be as patient as you can - without leading him on.

~Hurtnlost

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 10:17am

I was just wondering why you fell out of love with your husband?? Certainly there was a reason you fell in love with him. People fall in and out of love in their relationships many times throughout their lives and if you take the steps to try and come back together, then it will happen. If one person just doesn't want to do it, then there is no point.


I wanted to try and spend more time with my husband to get us back on track, but he didn't want to.


Is the reason you want to end it because he isn't trying?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 10:30am

There are a lot of reasons why I fell out of love with him. He has cheated on me numerous times, hit me, verbally abused me, gained almost 250 additional pounds, plays xbox all the time except for when he needs to sleep, doesn't drive so I drive him everywhere, I mean the list goes on and on..I am his mother basically. I pay all the bills, make all the appointments, clean all the house, etc...I am tired of not being appreciate. I want to meet someone who is on the same level as me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 10:44am

Ok. Now that I know the full story, those are really good reasons to leave. I wouldn't have put up with that either.