He's Taking Our son to a party with her
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He's Taking Our son to a party with her
| Fri, 06-10-2005 - 11:11am |
My ex called twice last night I didnt answer, then called my job this morning saying he wants to take the baby to a b-day tomorrow. One of the girls he used to work with is having a party for her child. As you all may know thats how he met the gf he has now. Oh god this is hard.
The thought of them traveling to a party with my son as if it's their baby. This is gonna be hard for me. It hurts so much. We were supposed to be doing those things not him and her. God help me get through this. I hate him

Hugs to you.
I know it's hard. It will get easier... it's not fair, it hurts, it sucks and hate is a normal reaction to this news.
We all go through this.
Hugs,
Angelena
Tell me about it. But im trying to find the positive stuff about it. Like I will have some free time for me. I will go to Coney Island or something. My son will get to enjoy playing with other kids and time with his dad.
I did let inform him that he must respect me, no negotiations on that. He says that he will not talk to her around me and vice versa. Whatever. Either he respects me or im just gonna hang up the phone.
I know it will be okay.
blecch. i am so sorry, i do have total sympathy for you. it literally makes me sick when i know that my stbx is taking my son somewhere with his OW and they are doing the family thing. it just upsets me so much, i feel like SHE has my family and it so unfair to me. i have found myself (as nutty and psycho as this sounds) sort of repeating to myself as a mantra on those days that "it's better for ethan, it's better for ethan" over and over, because it is better for him to spend time with his dad, even if that OW is there. We had the same talk about respecting me, and I told him that if he ever let his OW say anything bad about me to our son, or to my stbx in front of my son about me, that I expect him to stop her, just like I stop my nutty parents when they start to say something negative in front of my son. yuk, the whole thing makes me sick. i am really glad to hear you are doing something fun for you. you can be rested and hopefully feeling good when you have your son back with you. i'll think good thoughts for you
bridget
Thank you so much for your words. It is really hard to handle. But im trying to deal with it. It's funny because I found myself doing some of that this morning, repeating it will be good for my son.
I also have to keep reminding myself that he hasnt changed. That's where I get stuck alot thinking "he's changed" for this girl. I know he hasnt. He even told me this morning when I was saying he must respect me, not negotiable, I told him that he respects her and doesnt talk to her the way he does to me and he told me I have no idea what im talking about. He treats "everyone" the same! So big newsflash. For all the times he confessed to me that he's changed he obviously hasnt.
It's her loss.
All you guys have been great. It's wonderful to have such loving people around. Its amazing that we can all care so much for each other and we havent even ever met.
The real kicker for me is it just feels like and seems like he's so happy with this young girl like he doesnt even miss me. As if she's the one he's been looking for all his life and is the only one who can make him happy. My mind knows it isnt true but my heart.....
Well you know. I keep wondering what is she doing that I didnt that he wants her and not me ya know. I hate feeling like this.
But what goes around does come around, i saw that with the ow, he got her pregnant and left her with twins and is with this new one now. So she got what she deserved. She was so nasty to me when I found out about the A and confronted her.
When will he get his?
The previous post is 100% correct, very well written and exactly on point. I have nothing to add about that, scorned is totally right about her ex and yours IMHO.
As for getting through the party, don't think about her or him if you can help it. Do something for yourself, a hot bath, a nap, something just for you, and if you have to think about the party just keep telling yourself your son will be having a good time and him having a good time (whoever it's with) while you get a mommy break and a chance to recharge is a win-win. You are still his mommy. Nobody can ever change that, and my guess is most of the people at the party will know he's got 3 children with 2 women and his gf isn't mommy to any of them. She can play mommy, she can't be mommy. To do that she'll have to give him another child, and he certainly doesn't need that!
i'm going through the same thing right now and it's no fun. and i mean "right now." my ex just left with my two kids to pick up ow and take them to a party at his mother's. i've been a part of his life for 13 years and now -- well, i'm not. his family has apparently welcomed this woman with open arms and i just have to deal with it. the kids feel awkward (9 & 10) having to go, but they love their father, of course. i'm hoping that some day they will put two and two together and realize he was having an affair. i'm a saint -- like all of you. i don't say anything negative about their father and i even tell them to have fun on their way out the door.
it's really tough though. the four of them are one happy "family" and i'm sitting here reading the divorce board. ha. actually, i have marathon pms and things are always worse this time of month. i've actually been okay and made good use of the time without the kids before and i know that in a few days i'll feel much better.
thanks for letting me complain here.