Hitting rock bottom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
Hitting rock bottom
6
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 8:35pm

Hi, newbie here.


Can someone tell me how a person can live a double life as successfully as my husband? We were married for 12 years, had an infant son. We were That Couple that everyone admired and went to for advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 11:05pm

First, I am so sorry about your father. I lost my mother a few years ago and I know what you are going through.


As for your husband, it is very similar to my ex's behavior and after reading your post, I felt like writing to you. My ex was the most loving and generous man for a long time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 7:33am

Thank you so much for your reply. I am exercising (down 15 lbs)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 11:17am

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.... but seriously, I'd be jotting down notes about things he tells you in conversations.


But honestly, it would take an idiot judge to validate a "custody fight" when he shipped you AND HIS SON off 4 months ago and hasn't made any concessions about regularly visiting his child; he's not interested.... and no judge would buy a change of heart on his part after sending you off like that to "move on" without even so much as a half ass plan to see his child.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2007
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 8:10pm
Dear Rock bottom-
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 10:14pm

Just sending hugs!

It is quite literally unbelievable what these guys (and occasionally gals) do. Hard to believe that someone can turn their heart off that way.

I am glad you are near family.

You are doing the right things -- volunteering, school etc.

The healing takes a LONG time with lots of back tracking (at least that is my experience)--be patient with yourself.

Also, on a practical level -- even though he sent you off -- I think his actions may consistute disertion -- you should retain a lawyer. You may need to be taking action against him for child and spousal support.

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 10:41pm

Thanks for all the sweet replies, everyone.