Hoping for Support

Avatar for amyr1229
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Hoping for Support
3
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 3:00pm
My H & I are seperating and I am moving out this weekend. We have been married for 2 years, together 5 and have a wonderful DD who just turned 2. Things in our marriage have not been right for a long time (if ever) and we have finally decided we can't make it work. I know I am making the right choice for me and DD, but I am scared. Actually I am full of emotions, happy, scared, nervous, anxouis, releived, excited, I am feeling just about everything! I am 31 and have never lived alone. I always have lived with my parents (long ago!) or with a roomate. I won't technically be alone, but you KWIM? I worry how my daughter will take all of this. If I give my H one thing, he is a good dad. They will still see each other one day a week and every other weekend, but I worry she will miss him. Are all these worries and feelings normal? I am so glad I have found this board. I have been reading the "What you did on your first night" thread and I can't wait to share my story. My H has been very controlling of me and the household and it will be so nice to decorate the way I like! I am hoping that this board can become a place where I can share my thoughts/feeling on what is happening in my life. My friends and parents have been supportive of my decision but it will be nice to talk with some people who are going thru the same thing. Thanks!
Amy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 3:55pm

I have just separated from my husband of 2 years (together 6) and am feeling everything that you are.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 9:17am

Welcome, Amy. The feelings you're describing are totally normal. The best thing you can do for your daughter is to be living a life that makes you happy. There will be an initial adjustment period, but in the long run she will probably be happier than she would be living in a home where her parents are unhappy. And yes, it is a little scary to live on your own when you've always had another person to rely on. But it's also empowering to live on your own and make your own decisions. You will come out of this a much stronger person - if you've been living in an environment where you've been controlled, in a year you will probably look back and wonder how you ever lived that way. Wishing you the best.

-sang

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2005
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 11:05am

Hi Amy and Welcome,
Seems as though you know exactly what you want..when i left
almost a yr ago i knew i was doing the right thing.And it seems
you feel the same way as I did..I know at first i had my doubts
and was scared.And I got really lonely at times..soo i wish you
luck and a hand if you need one,i will try to help any way that
i can...as im sure everyone here will...

look forward to chatting w/you and getting to know you better..

tami

ooh btw im 33 and also never lived alone...also had a control freak
soon to be X-H