House with no mortgage questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2011
House with no mortgage questions
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 11:21am

Okay- here goes. STBX and I have been going through this divorce for over a year now, and nothing is resolved due to his procrastination including the marital home. A little back ground:

I left the home in Aug of 2010 for a trial separation. He was unemployed at the time, and I was making good money- so I stupidly allowed him to stay in the marital home which has NO MORTGAGE until the house sold. We listed it in May 2010 for 234,900.00. I moved into a rental around the block to make it easier on the kids, and we shared custody verbally. Unknown to me at the time, the day I moved out he filed for divorce, and asked for full custody of the kids, including all the assets, child support, alimony etc. This was all vindictive behavior because I had started seeing someone. That's another story in itself.

During this past year, I have offered in writing to buy him out, as well as I would accept a reasonable

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 6:35pm

I don't think there's any difference between buying out someone in a house with out without a mortgage--he'll obviously have to qualify for a mortgage to buy you out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2011
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 10:59pm

first, thanks for reading my post. To answer some of your questions, yes the heloc filed with the county is in my name too- but the bank that holds the mortgage is telling me my name is not on it, just his.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2011
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 11:01pm
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 09-12-2011 - 2:11pm
Hi Dena,

Well, I am sorry I don't have any practical advice, but wanted to chime in for support.

Yes, the whole thing is really crappy and unfortunate how things can drag out.

I had to giggle a little bit in Music's post about buying him out at HIS appraisal level. My xMIL got divorced and her DH tried to so the same thing with with a valuable collection. She called his bluff and I think she purchased the collection at his low ball value. (I think she did, if not, I know she cornered him, regardless)

I can never remember what the rules are with joint accounts. Were the accounts originally in his name first, then you were added? That is only way I can see them allowing that.

I also don't get why he would let a house go down hill, unless he thinks it would cost him less to buy YOU out. I just don't know.

Hang in there and ultimately whatever happens financially you will be get throught it. Hugs...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2011
Mon, 09-12-2011 - 11:21pm
Very Sorry to Hear your dilemma!

1. Home:
a) Two appraisals off by $75K - I agree with the other reply's that is far too great a variable. Recommend you go to and or get a comp list from another Realtor. I had a similar issue and I subpoena a Realtor to testify in court as to the sale value and then have the Judge rule on the amount.
b) Rental Value? In some states, you may be able to make him "rent" the house out - What I mean is if the home would rent for $3,000 / month, you are entitled to half of that rent $1,500.00 of that rent over the time the home sits unsold.
c) SELL THE HOUSE - Save yourself all the Attorney & Court BS .. you may want to consider how much you want to fight in court .. most of us are better off taking a loss for a future temp gain... you may want to buy the house out or just sell it as is and take the loss .... this comes from experience.

2. Bank: If two people are signers on the same account, then
a) One Spouse can close out the account and open a new one, putting all monies in that account.
b) One Spouse is not supposed to be able remove the other spouse - that spouse can only remove their name from the account. If this is what occurred, I would recommend suing the bank and if the amount is small, file in small claims court.
c) THUS: If you want to "mess" with your spouse, you would open a new account, move all the funds into that account and then remove your name form the Joint account.

3. Court / Judges / Attorney's: Be careful about Attorney's, Court and Judges. When Attorney's see a Home w/ NET assets as high you have, there is not incentive to finish the legal proceedings as you are an "open' check book to them... FIRE your Judge.. I don't know what State your in, however most states allow you to "dismiss" a Judge without providing a reason. Find a Fair Judge that will help you end your divorce more quickly!

4. Child Support: I highly recommend you file with your Child Support Services in your state... they are supposed to help you with obtaining your support amounts.

Final: A restraining order is a good idea, however the challenges of Court and Law to follow up on restraining orders can be tough very often. I went through 4 Years of Divorce Hell.. I believe I have seen it all and the one thing I have come to learn, is it often better to get out as fast as you can and take a few punches along the way ...even if it is wrong for it to happen to you!

I wish you peace and happiness and that you are able to move on quickly. Best of Luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 11:41am

As a divorce attorney I feel I really have to respond to your accusation that attorneys want to drag out the case as long as possible just to get more money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2011
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 9:15am

I agree with music lover. I have a great lawyer, and I feel very confident in her. It's as music lover said in my case my ex has not submitted any paperwork when requested, thus dragging things out. We had a mediation in July where the mediator told me talking to him is like trying to walk through mud. Nuff said there. At mediation the issues were custody & assets- me asking for primary residential, but maintaining a 50/50 scedule as we do only with set days. Primary parent provides health insurance, and lives in the school district. He refused that in order to keep them in school in his county, where they take a bus 1.5 hrs each way. Meanwhile, he is in the marital home, still unresolved, and therefore has no real residence. I maintain a leased home, making my residence more stable because I am in contract. I live literally around the block just over the county line, which puts the kids in a closer school- 11 minutes away.

The other issue was the home, and we asked the home either be sold, and he pay a monthly amount to live there while it sells or vice versa. I would move in there and pay him. Or we choose to buy one or the other out. I broke everything down based on my apraisal and made him an offer of 102K, or vice versa for him to pay me and he refused saying he wanted his own appraisal, even though he was supposed to have one with him there. He was an hour late to mediation, and never paid the mediator fee. This was a court ordered mediation too. A few weeks later he got his own appraisal at 75K less, so yes I am prepared to offer him half that at the next court date.

In recent news he is using the home equity loan, and reducin our equity. That will be addressed at the next court date too. November 3rd can't get here fast enough. There is paperwork filed barring him from doing what he is doing but he does it anyway.

Last, in a seperate case from the divorce which is fl state, he was ordered to pay child support in the pathetic amount of $310 a month for 4 kids, and still hasn't paid a penny. He also never showed up to that court date, but his attorney did. They got him on the phone & based the support on his word for his income, since he provided no paperwork. Now we finally have ihis income recods, and he was lying by $1500 per month. So as you all can see- he is the one making this drag out. My attorney calls him the Ass.