How this all affects the kids
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| Thu, 03-06-2008 - 7:00am |
I am not sure if there is a board geared toward this, I am sure there might be but I just emotionally did not have the energy to look, I am sorry if this is not in the right spot.
The kids, how do we do this? I have a 17 yr old who hates my guts now, she believes this is all my fault, I am selfish etc, I would and will NEVER bash her father's name, he loves her so much and is a good father but she has NO IDEA what I have endured, I have tried, I stayed longer because of my 2 daughters but she is now going through her own break-up with a long time boyfriend and I feel like I just added to her pain by doing this, I honestly feel like a failure as a mother and I have tried the best I know how to raise these girls well. I go to counceling and I have been talking about this and I told my oldest she needs to go as well but I can't force her. The sad part is I have a 12 yr old who I am wicked close to, we share everything, she has some emotional issues so I handle her much different but we are so close and I can't get my oldest to open up to me. I bought her a teddy bear last night and a card, just to say I love you and she just won't acknowledge me, I feel like maybe I have made one of the biggest mistakes of my life but when do I get to be happy and live the life I deserve? I

Kiddy,
You're right. Your daughter has no idea about the adult challenges your dealing with. So, she's no equipped to respond in a matur way to the family situation.
My first suggestion is you talk to your husband. Has he been bad-mouthing
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Kditty-
I want to Thank you both for the support. I tried to say this yesterday but the boards where acting wackie:)
I am really trying to help myself realize that I am and always will try to do the best for my children but I also have to think about myself too and if I am unhappy all the time how is this helping them. It's so true about this age and how they unfortunatly won't realize how much we mean or did for them. I guess what truly bothers me is that I NEVER had this in life and she does and just does not want it now and I am trying to respect her feelings. As far as my husband is concerned THANK GOD he would also NEVER bad mouth me to my kids, if anything he tells that I have tried the best I could and can given the circumstances in which I grew up. These kids just don't realize that parenting and everything else is not written in stone and especially if you grew up in complete disfunction and wanted to do the OPPISITE of their parenting you learn on your own, that's hard. All I know is I tell them both EVERYDAY AND NIGHT that I love them, everyone needs to know and hear this and they always do. I am feeling alot of guilt also that this marriage failed, I truly tried everything short of electric shock to change how I feel about so much but I can't and I just decided I could not live a lie anymore and I have tremendous guilt for that, I failed yet again. I just hope this all gets better soon, it's such a hard thing and I thank EVERYONE here for their support, Hugs to all going through this:)