How can I go on?
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How can I go on?
| Fri, 02-08-2008 - 11:50pm |
Hello,
I am new to the board and never thought I'd find myself posting.
Sigh! My husband just told me tonite that he doesn't love me the way he used to and that he doesn't have it in him to work on our marriage. We have been having problems on and off and all of a sudden he just started shutting down and withdrawing. I know it takes two but I was usually the one to initiate discussions about things, to take the first step at trying to spice things up, etc. I have been a good wife....cooking, cleaning,

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Hello and thank you for your post.
i am so sorry for everything you're going through. In fact, my husband told me the very same thing in the same words. At first, I didn't know how I was going to get through it. We had small children and had been married for 4 1/2 years and together for 9 years. I really felt the same way-sick just by thinking about it. I stayed away from him and prayed,prayed,prayed. I always asked God to prepare me for the worst situations to come. I prayed throughout the day amd kept my distance from him bc being around him would spark up questions such as "why". I then began to focus on my kids. I did things w/o their father. I was more dependent on him so that's why i chose to do that! Another thing is you have to not concentrate on the situation. If you just leave everything alone and keep praying, he'll come to you especially if he doesn't communicate much (so similar to my husband). The most important thing i found out during this time is keeping my feelings first. Remember you have feelings and he has no right to hurt something that is precious to you. I did and continued to do the things that i suggest to you and things are looking up. I've been separated for 5 months and there are talks of reconcilation between us but i'm going to make him chase me and he's doing exactly that!!! Please pray and ask God to change the situation around and his heart and in time he will do it. Good luck and let me know if things change!!!
Dear pmw730,
First of all, you're not falling apart...your marriage is. Secondly, you have the power to attract love into your life. Whether or not it will show up as your husband is irrelevant. I recommend you read "It's a Guy thing" by David Deida. He explains how men and women lose their attraction. I also recommend "Lasting Love" or other relationship books by Gay Hendricks. I read them after I lost my marriage. However, I'm in a wonderful relationship now and you can bet that I'll never neglect my feminine essence again! Good luck to you! If your husband is still committed to the relationship, you have a chance. If not, let him go and let someone else love you. Lots of love to you!!
By the way, check out www.FromDivorceToLoveForce.com for a series of free teleconference/webcasts that might inspire and empower you. Gael Chiarella is speaking this Saturday at 1:00pm EST on "Spiritual Warrior and Divorce" and David Ellzey will be talking about using the Sedona Method to help you release emotions that hold you hostage. He speaks Tuesday Mar 11, 2008 at 8:00pm EST. You'll see the other topics on the website. Your fear will subside when you have more knowledge about what you're going through. Peace to you.
Dear Lisa616,
I recommend reading "It's a Guy Thing" by David Deida and "Lasting Love" by Gay Hendricks. There's also a series of free teleconferences/webcasts on www.FromDivorceToLoveForce.com. I have so much more to say but I've got to get up early so that I can get my daughter to school early. good night.
LoveForce
Loveforce, thank you for your response! It has inspired me
Thank you Marmstead2007. I wish I could take away all that you have gone thru too, but it sounds like you're doing okay....and letting him chase you is a good thing. Funny how they always come back after they were so adamant about not wanting to be with you. My husband came to me and told me he wants to try to work things out and that he doesn't want us to split up. So, we're going to couples counseling....first appt is March 26. I'm not sure what will happen...and it will be a long road...but at least we're trying.
Best
Dear Lisa616, I think I may have overlooked your post.....sorry about that!
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