How dare he, the peace is over for now
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| Mon, 03-20-2006 - 9:12am |
Why is it that just when you think you are getting somewhere unexpectedly, wham, you get thrown right back into reality. The reality that the one or two baby steps you thought you took have just pushed you backwards three or four. Damn him and I want to kick myself for falling in his trap. But he crossed the line and I couldnt bite my tongue fast enough.
Saturday, I was all prepared to have the first exchange on my own. I was ready. 11am my intercom rings, I answer to my surprise it's my guy friend. I buzz him up. Then 5 min or so later the intercom rings again, it was my ex. Told him I'd be down in a minute. Fine, the three of us go down. He looks at the baby and makes a face and asks where is the coat HE bought him, it's warmer than the one I have on him. He's ridiculous. I told him the coat was just as warm and it goes with his leggings. He says who bought this, I said what does it matter, he still saying "his" coat is warmer. The one he had on was a set red and blue, he bought him a brown coat, so my friend was like so you want him to go out in mis matched clothes? I said look can you go get it for me b/c this makes no sense and he did. So the three of us are waiting, he's talking to the baby, then asked me a few ?'s about the baby, it was really civil and felt good.
Then like someone else invaded his body he switches and says when am I getting my money? I said when am I getting my c.s. I havent gotten a dime yet. Then my friend comes back down w/ the other coat and I told ex Im not going to discuss this now. He turns to my friend and tells him you came down at the wrong time. Then says you know she hit me. Im like what. He starts telling him how he had to get the police on me because of what I did to him.
I told him look first off I didnt hit you, you want to be disrespectful to me and I will not stand for it. So he's asks him no matter how I talk to her does that give her the right to hit me? Then he tells him yeah just like she kept all my furniture, why dont she give it back to me, I told him that is the baby's furniture. He's like his furn. is in him room, I told him you need to grow up. My friend said why are you bringing this up when it's been settled already. He says I wont give him his money, I told him maybe he should go take back his truck from his other baby's mother and stop worrying about me. Then ex tells my friend, you better watch her, you dont know her, she is EVIL. Who the F does he think he is. My friend says he knows me well and Im not, Im just concerned about the baby. Ex says I dont care about the baby, Im just EVIL. I told him just watch the baby and go about his business b/c he sound really dumb and he said your mother.
I know I shouldnt have but I couldnt help it, he really got under my skin and I cursed his mother. I was just so furious at him. So the progress I thought we made was just shot to he!!. Im disappointed at myself for allowing him to get to me. I was just tired of always biting my tongue and feeling like a sucker when it comes to him, letting him say all these horrible things about me in front of any and everybody and never responding back to him.
Then ofcourse he shows up 33minutes late. Now the court order says more than a half hour late and the next visit is cancelled. I dont want to be spiteful because of how he's acting but he's always late in picking him up and bringing him back. Now dont I have to go by the order. I need some perspective. What would you do in a situation like this. Im to meet with my lawyer tomorrow and Im going to ask her what should I do regarding this. But I would love to get feedback from you guys.

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Luv,
I hear you.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Di...your post was very insightful.
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f39/cry
My EX told me early on.... "if I ever forget about giving you your check, just remind me."
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Great advice.... I, too, told my EX that if he ever did anything to make me or our kids feel threatened that I would call 911... and he knew I was very serious.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thanks Karen.
I was bummed at myself for falling for his ploy. But hey you live and you learn. Im going to probably just do the exchange this weekend alone I think and if and when he tries something, Im just gonna walk away if it's not 100% important. How is your ex's mil?
Good plan!
EX's MIL is still doing tests and procedures.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
He had moved out and had been gone 2 months.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Oh... I'm a peace queen... I hate altercations and roll out my doormat way too often to avoid them.... BUT.... if it's something that I've thought out and am prepared for... I calmly tell it like it is... and walk away, usually with great, highly effective
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
luv, I realize the "right" thing to do is to not engage him, ignore his comments, etc. It really is easier said than done. And I know you're trying!
Just this evening, I had to deal with, "I'll be there in 15 minutes to get DS." 1/2 an hour later....grrrrr....
It seems like nothing, but when it adds up, I know how it makes you feel. Keep trying to take the high road...BABY STEPS...lol!
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