how do i cope without my girls

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
how do i cope without my girls
14
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 2:23pm

Hi there, I am new to this board unfortunately. It's unfortunate in the sense that I never thought this would happen to me. My stbxh of 11 years (we've been together 16) has decided that we are incompatible and there is no passion in our marriage. He's been unhappy for many years but waits until the week after Christmas to tell me he has a lawyer and he's moving out. He just moved out 2 weeks ago. I was totally blindsided by all of this. We have had problems in the past but we just had our second child in August (our first dd is 4 years old). I never saw this coming and I did not want this but now I have no choice but to deal with it. My biggest concern and the thing that is making me cry the most (and I cry a lot...ugh) is when my little girls have to go spend the weekend with daddy. How am I going to get through this? I'm not as concerned about my 4 year old because she has gone on sleepovers to grandma's house, etc. before but I'm going to miss my little 8 month old dd so much. My heart aches thinking about it. I'm just SOOOOO mad - this was NOT my decision and now i have to be heartbroken and sad all the time. He wants to be best friends with me (selfish jerk). He doesn't understand why i can't be all buddy buddy with him. He says he "still loves me but is not in love with me"...gee thanks. I just want him to hurt as badly as I do - maybe even worse. I realize that i need to get rid of all those negative feelings and malicious thoughts but it's all too raw for me right now. I'm sick of crying all the time. When is it ever going to get better? When will it not hurt so much to send my kids to his house for a whole weekend?

Thanks in advance for your support.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 03-30-2007 - 11:40pm
I agree!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 2:33pm
How would you feel if (God forbid) you had to go to hospital? Someone else would have to take care of your children. If your daughter is only 8 mo. old this will be the only life she knows. Kids are tough. We don't give then enough credit. Also sometimes the other parent gets tired of stuff real fast. So just take a deep breath and look at this as a mini vacation. It's tuff at first but you need to show your children you are strong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 12:00am
When you figure it out, let me know. My dh announced a week ago he was leaving. He wants split custody so I'll only have my girls half of the time. I can take him leaving but losing all that time with my girls is going to kill me. That I cry about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 11:20pm
Keep telling yourself that just because he wants something, it doesn't mean he's going to get it.

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