How do I get through this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
How do I get through this??
1
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 8:49pm
I am really missing him off and on today, I guess not so much as a husband, but as a person. I just keep hoping that he is okay, and I feel guilty because he is by himself and I have some family that is here to support me. I just feel like such a horrible person for leaving him by himself. I hope this is just temporary and the feeling goes away, because I want to move on with my life. Has anyone gone through this? Is what I am feeling natural??
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2006
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 10:33pm

Funny, I had the same feeling today. I know things have been very difficult for my STBX since I filed for divorce, and today in particular I felt guilty. But my father-in-law's convalescence is not the result of our divorce; my mother-in-law's health breakdown is sad, but does not constitute a reason to stop proceedings. And stopping divorce proceedings because of that would NOT help anyone anyway.

Obviously its important that you be fully settled as to why you are divorcing, why the relationship cannot be saved. In my case, I simply need to remind myself of all the things about her and how she treats me that she has refused to acknowledge or reconsider. In my case, a simple rereading of my journal is all I need to get over feeling guilty about it. For you it may take something else, hard to say. Or if you are THAT uncertain, perhaps you need to revisit just why it was you decided on divorce.

But more likely, if your situation is AT ALL like mine, some of those feelings may be feelings your ex planted there as a guilt trip to try to get you NOT to take action in your own best interests. You will want to be sure not to give in to THOSE feelings, which are bogus. Make sure the feelings you describe are truly yours before you allow them to shape your actions.

Rediscovering