how do i get through it with a newborn??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
how do i get through it with a newborn??
2
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 3:10am

I don't exactly belong here, at least not yet. I just think I may soon...

My husband and I have had some serious problems for a while. When I found out I was pregnant, we were able to focus all of our energy on the baby, and I thought that she might even help us grow closer. Instead, I feel like everything is so much worse...

My beautiful baby is 10 days old, and I couldn't imagine loving anything more. I adore her. I am very overwhelmed, though. My husband doesn't help me with her at all. he refuses to get up during the night, and actually asked me to move into the spare bedroom with the baby. He says that he shouldn't have to wake up to feed her, change her or rock her to sleep. He also refuses to do anything about his snoring, which keeps me awake all night, and wakes the baby, who sleeps in our room. He says that I should get used to it, and again, it's my problem.

I would reach out to friends, but my husband doesn't allow me to have friends, or a job, or finish my master's degree... I feel completely trapped in this house. I feel like a maid. I feel alone... I feel like I should move out, make friends, and build a support system. I just don't know how to do that with an infant, no job, and no access to money. Where do I turn? I also fear that he would try to take my baby away. He wouldn't last a week with her full time, but he'd do it just to spite me. Would he have a shot at custody?

I just don't know what to do... If he finds out I posted this it will be really bad, but I had to reach out before I go crazy...

Laurel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 8:10am

This is abusive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 12:04pm

I am very sorry that you are going through this.