How do I make this choice??? HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
How do I make this choice??? HELP
1
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 11:58am
OKay so I find myself back here again. I left my ex husband last years after only being married for 2 years. I was young and felt we had rushed into something without really knowing ourselves. So I left and hurt him immensely. Since then, we have argued a lot. He was hurt and angry and pushed me away. Which he should have. I have never stopped trying to keep in touch with him but I have found somebody else and am now currently living with them. I care and love this person but there still is not the chemistry that I had with my ex. I always felt that if my ex would give me another chance that we could actually work at it this time and put the effort I should have put in a long time ago. We met up on Thursday and agreed to go slow and start spending time again and work on our issues as friends first. My question is this....we had agreed to this before and he chickened out due to fear that I would do the same thing and hurt him again. This hurt me a lot. I realize that I should never have gotten involved with someone else so soon but you cannot choose when things happen to you. I am just not sure what to do. I am scared and not even sure if I should work on things with the ex. The new guy is amazing and wonderful but it's just not the same as the ex. That certain spark. Can anyone help me??
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 3:44pm
Nicole,
It sounds to me like you could use some time by yourself instead of jumping back and forth between men. Take a few weeks to find out the rhythm of your life and what you want. You are indecisive because you can't see the final goal. You can't see it because you don't have one. Your life is running you, rather than you running your life.
You are doing yourself a great disservice if you don't spend some time inside your own head and heart and figuring out how you want your life to look and feel. Sometimes people stumble upon good situations, but most of the time we have to seek them out.
Good luck to you!

Cat 

Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7