How Do I tell our children ?
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| Wed, 08-29-2007 - 10:24pm |
DH and I have been married for 14 years. High School sweethearts, Have 4 kids 13, 9, 3, 2. We just moved into our Dream home, wich I as a SAHM cannot afford to pay the 1988.00 mortgage on BTW. We move in on7/6/07 and have been at each other since. I n the pasy we had our 1-3 days of silent treatmeant. But that is as far as it went. He makes a very nice amount of $. The house is my name, but I have 0.00 income. The 2 bank account r in his name only. I was never added to OUR account for 1 stupid reason or another .
So last week he left to a happy hour after a tiny discussion. It is as if he was lookingb 4 a reason to leave. Came home @ 3:30 AM Then on Friday called after work and said he thought it best to stay away from me till bed time. Came home at about 7pr 7:30 Pm showered and left. Maybe we shared 10 words. He came home on Saturday 11:30 AM.
DS 2 had a birthday party on Sunday, all went well. Mon, was Ok, then last night, he again found a reason to be mad. My BIL came over and I could hear him tell him what was going on. Then they left out of earshot. Last night he slept on the couch. He came home from work at 1Pm, did not look at me or speak to me unless he HAD to. Packed a bag and said he was leaving. He might be back on Monday or somthing. Said he was tired of US not being happy. We argue too much and that he has felt like this for some time. Now he is able to pay for a Hotel for unlimited amount of time and ao he was leaving. That this would give us time to think about were we wnted to go with this. If I wanted we could go to counseling!
I cried and cried and cried. Asked him to please not leave. I do not have a soul to speak to, other than my kids, but they are kids after all. I have tried to not do any crying in fron of them.
I do not know what to do. Any advice would be so appreciated.

First thing to do: Protect yourself (and your kids). Make copies of ALL bank statements, mortgage statements, credit card statements. He could go run up a 10K credit card bill, and you *could* get stuck paying for 1/2.
Counseling could help you work through this--but both parties need to be willing to go and participate. I'm sorry to say but it almost sounds as if he's having an affair-or doing "something" he's not supposed to be doing.
And I wouldnt' say anything to the kids until you know what is happening. It's confusing if you tell them daddy moved out then he moves back in. Can you say he's traveling for work? I dont condone lying, but sometimes it's needed.
I would definitely protect yourself right now though......
HUGE hugs
Deb
All his card havea 0. balance. I pay them every month. I dont't KNow or have that FEeling about an AFAIR. But he is very capable. He also has plenty of cash to blow on anything. Wich gets him attention. That he loves.
I did make coppies of HIS banks statement and of the House bank statements.
I am just so upset right now.
Thanks for replying.
As much as I hate to say this - I can almost bet he is having an affair. The same type of thing happened to me - our marriage seemed to be pretty solid and out of no where he is saying he is not happy. I was told we don't share similar interests, I am too fat, etc. etc. I just investigated and found out he was having an affair with a co-worker.
Check cell phone bills, get a sitter and show up at the happy hour, etc and spy. I caught my ex at his gf's house. I looked her up in the phone book and took a ride over there to find his car sitting outside.
I wish you the best of luck, remain strong and find out the truth.
Maybe the majpr purchase of a home with such a large wortgage has him reeling. Maybe he is having an affair to escape reality.
Follow me to the DID/MPD
Thank You all for your advice.