How do SAHMs leave?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
How do SAHMs leave?
10
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 2:08am

We've been married 14 years, with 2 kids (11 & 7).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 7:15am

Leaving is not easy when your in that financial situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 11:53am

Are you sure that your DH won't be able to cover you on his health ins. after the divorce?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 11:57am
Would you be able to go back to school to get some training in an area where there are jobs that pay more?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 2:05pm

Nicker,


Hi. Frankly, you sound bored.


Is divorce really the answer here or is taking responsibility for your own happiness the answer?


I always ask these questions when someone says their husband "isn't a bad guy." So what is the reason you want a divorce? Have you sat down and thought it through? Are you expecting your husband to keep you entertained/busy/happy/growing?


Here's a couple things to chew on:


1)Love is

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 3:06pm

According to our policy (I read it) in order to be considered an "eligible" dependent we have to be married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 3:08pm

Wisdomtooth,


That was great advise & so true!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2008
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 3:27pm
I'm sure you're bored. I was a SAHM for most of my marriage, and I was definitely bored. Also, my husband was very critical and has a negative spirit. But if you say your husband's a good guy, do try to get his attention to make him understand how you're feeling.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 4:00pm
I know what you mean.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 10:28pm

I went to the Dentist today to get a tooth fixed since I have a

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 10:45pm

They don't - lol.


I just posted about a book I'm reading called "Sacred Marriage" - Read that before you think about really leaving - first of all, being a single mom is no fun. Been there, done that. You think there are so many great guys out there just waiting to sweep you off your feet - wrong. lol - most of the great guys are already married.


*If* you do find the love of your life that sweeps you off your feet - you will find problems/issues w/them as well - maybe even more - especially since you are looking at blending families.


I'm w/the people who say if he's not abusive, putting you & the kids in danger etc. - then stick it out. It may simply be that you have some growing in your own skin to do - and rather than looking to change external circumstances, you just need to change something on your insides.


All I know is that divorce is a selfish move unless you are simply in a situation that is completely out of control & harmful. Are your kids happy? If so - you had them & they should be your #1 priority for at least 18 yrs. Otherwise I'd say - sure, go at it on your own & find out the hard way ;)


And if your financial situation etc. isn't great - what are you really bringing to another situation other than more problems - get your own life in order before thinking you think you are going to add to another's.


You mentioned art