How do you cope?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
How do you cope?
2
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 5:08pm

O.K. - Ex and I are divorced. We did work together until he walked off the job because he was being reprimanded by my father. He has called me every name in the book (Fat Pig is the one that absolutely broke my heart and now I know he no longer has any compasion for me)

Anyways, he asked to have kids today. Asks me to drop kids off at his moms. I know ex went to vegas and will be flying back late tonight. Why I couldn't go to the family picnic I was invited to is beyond me? The party will be over by the time he arrives. Ex is the one treatening lawsuit about discrimination about his job. MIL seems kinda cold to me but does give me a hug hello today.

Anyways- GF is in town and I am losing sleep about the fact that ex will be trying to do side jobs and leave the kids with GF for the next few days. He is scheduled to drop the kids off on Sat at 1 p.m. We have joint custody and I welcome the boys to spend time with their dad however, it is very disconcerning to me that GF will be watching the kids so soon into this divorce. How does everyone deal with this or do you? Do you allow your kids to be watched by the GF? Should I get a CO to stop this since my mom can watch the kids?

TIA!!

Brenda
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 9:05pm

What's in your custody doc? Any references to introducing, much less leaving the kids alone with SO/OW?

I would think YOU would have right of first refusal. Iow, if HE can't watch them then you get to. I would think grandma would trump GF/OW. I guess it depends on how detailed your custody doc was/is.

On a personal note ... no way would that be ok with. The OW doesn't get her hands on my kids alone unless she is married to X -- at least that is what I am asking for "any care provider other than the parent must be approved by both parents." Obviously I wouldn't approve the GF (unless by some miracle I thought she was an incredibly wonderful human being).

GL

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 10:00pm

My divorce is not final yet (wondering if it ever will) but I am having it put in that NO overnight company of any sex is allowed unless related by blood/marriage and that no future partner be introduced to the children until a monogamous relationship of at least 90 days has been established. Maybe it will work, God knows stbx has yet to be willing to do ANYTHING else he should!!!:(

As far as coping, surround yourself with people who love you and can support you...it's made a world of difference for me!!!:)