How do you deal with your ex moving on?
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How do you deal with your ex moving on?
| Tue, 03-21-2006 - 3:16pm |
I'm curious how everyone deals with their ex moving on. Does it hurt to see or hear of them doing special things with someone else?

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I am glad to hear this. I feel bad sometimes reading about the pain that a lot of the posters experience with the relationships ending.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
I have very mixed feelings. On the one hand when my ex and I were seperated and living together he was so miserable and and low that I hoped that one day he would meet someone and maybe actually feel happiness. Now he's met someone and I don't know much about it (I don't ask but the kids mention bits of what he's told them) so I dont' know how serious it is, but it does annoy me a bit that he couldn't pull himself together enough to hold down a job or to be caring toward me while we were together, but somehow he now has enough emotional energy for a girlfriend. And while I really don't care what they do together, he broke so many promises he made to me - from me being able to go back to school to trips we were going to take etc. - that I know that I will feel resentment if he does do those things with/for this woman.
I do spend more time focusing on my life and my new and wonderful relationship to dwell on him very much though and honestly even if he does somehow become the man he always told me he'd become for her, I'm glad because it was pathetic to watch him waste away like he was doing while he was living here with our family.
Melanie
Edited 3/22/2006 9:42 pm ET by eatatmoms
I think you bring up a VERY good point there. I think we all question, "why couldn't he be like that for ME?" Although my STBX is not in a new relationship yet (at least not one that I know of), I still don't think I'll be able to answer that question. In the end, maybe we just brought out the worst in one another and will both flourish in our new relationships. At least, that's what I hope!
Oh it's so hard when they treat the new girlfriend/wife better than they treated us. My ex & I never really went on extravagant vacations- usually just to Florida or something close, once to Vegas. In 6 years of marriage. Yet in the FIRST YEAR of dating his girlfriend they went to Europe twice. Yes twice. That hurt...but what hurt most of all is that I would beg him to come home at a decent hour, since he had his own company he use to work late and come home usually around 11 or 12- once I was already in bed. He was a total workaholic and later admitted he was avoiding me and did not want to come home. Now that he's with her, he leaves work at exactly 5:00 every day. He wants to be with her, can't wait to see her after work. Yet myself and our daughter weren't worthy of him coming home. That's what hurts the most. He treated me like a roommate that he had sex with twice a year (yes, twice a year- LOL), yet he treats her like a Goddess. When we were together the house was a mess all the time, I was constantly cleaning up after him because he would leave stuff all over the place- now when I go over to the house to pick up or drop off my daughter, his house is perfectly clean & looks immaculate. So again, she is worth the effort to keep up with the place- I was a maid that he didn't respect and left all of his messes for me. Ok enough ranting.
Lainie
"why couldn't he be like that for ME?"
One thing I've learned (from my own experiences) is that I'm not necessarily the same person with different people.... so, even though I'm not "changing" myself, so to speak.... if I'm with someone that inspires me to be outgoing.... I feel more outgoing.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
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