how do you handle the end of visits
Find a Conversation
how do you handle the end of visits
| Sun, 05-21-2006 - 7:44pm |
My oldest is 7 at the end of most weekend visits she is fine. But then there are days like today when she is so upset and nothing helps she cries and tells him over and over she loves him and always will if he will stay. I really have no clue what else to do for her. I have told her that it is not her fault and that daddy just does not want to live here because mommy and daddy can not get along. How do you handle the tears and questions?
Mama to 5

That's so tough!.... When our little ones cry, it really does pull at our heartstrings.
Just keep reassuring her that your love and her dad's love doesn't lessen because mommy and daddy are living at different houses.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
If this is only a problem at the end of the visits, perhaps you could try implementing something special he does with her upon bringing her home to you. Something that would soften the abruptness of him dropping her off and driving away. Like maybe he could walk her in and help take her things to her room, maybe read her a SHORT story, tuck her into bed, let her show him something she drew since the last time he saw her.
I'm not sure of your situation, so I don't know if him coming in the house would work, but these are just things off the top of my head.
But I would definitely agree with Karen that the rephrasing of the situation will help her a lot. As hard as it is, try to phrase the situation as if you and your ex are united in believing you need to live apart because you cannot get along, but are trying very hard to make it okay for her.
Great tips, Gwen!
Really, though.... something as simple as changing our words from "you have to go see daddy now" to "it's time to see daddy now" makes a HUGS difference in the way we portray the perception of the situation.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~