How do you keep...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
How do you keep...
3
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 2:05pm

you ex from pushing your buttons and therefore having control over you? I can hardly look at my ex but have to because we have joint custody of our DD and I have to see him about every 2-3 days. Plus he has moved practically on top of me and is getting married next week. I just can't stand to hear his voice or listen to him. I need to get a grip so I can at least communicate with him about our daughter but every time he calls the house I want to throw the phone out the window. We've been divorced almost 4 years now and whenever he comes to pick up our DD my heart races and I get nervous (I think it's knee jerk reaction to what he might do while I am in his presence). I am very guarded around him. He makes my skin crawl. How do I look at him differently so I can react differently?

Lola

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 2:16pm

Hey there!


Hugs.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 2:30pm

You might want to let the answering machine take his calls, then you can call him back when YOU feel like it - gives you a better feeling of control. Similarly, I try not to let my ex come to my house any more, we arrange meetings and pickup/dropoffs of the kids at some neutral other place, or I'll go to his place. I can't stand having him in MY house. (it was an emotionally/verbally abusive marriage).

Other than that, just try to be pleasant to him because he's your DD's father, and when you think about him getting M again, remind yourself of all the reason you DON'T want him anymore! "She's welcome to him" is what I remind myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 9:50pm
Great advice!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~