How do you know?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
How do you know?
4
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 8:45pm
Well, I've been contimplating divorce for sometime now. But I keep getting the gut wrenching feeling of how he is going to deal with the news and how much it will hurt him. Do you think that if you feel really bad for the other person that means that things really aren't over?
I'd appreciate any feedback!
Chrissy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 8:57pm
Not necessarily. I felt really bad for my ex. It took me a long time to tell him, I didn't want to hurt him. But I did want out, I needed out. It did hurt him but later he was able to say that he knew we didn't bring out the best in each other and would be better off apart. And now he has the chance to find something better with someone else. I know we are both happier.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 9:54pm

it's good that you're worried about hurting him -- that means you'll handle it the right way if it comes to that.

maybe counselling would help you make your decision. it would help you feel more sure of yourself.

good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 12:34am
I'm trying to get an appt to see a counselor. I think I need someone to help me deal with these emotions. God knows I care about the man, we've been together 7 yrs, since I was 17, and married for just about 2 yrs now. I guess I knew all along I didn't think it would last, but I was young and in a rush to be "married". We've spoke about this before and he didn't react in a good way, in fact he threatened suicide if I left him. That scares me. I don't want to be the reason for his actions, but I don't want to stay because I feel guilty either. Its so hard, and I keep putting it off, and it doesn't get any easier.
Thanks for your responses. I need the support.
Chrissy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 8:43am

I felt that way for a long time.... but I figured that I felt that way because I just didn't want to face the drama that I knew would happen (he's an emotional boo hoo)... however, I never gave a thought that I felt that way because I still cared "enough" about him to try to stay..... I'd already tried, miserably, for years to do that.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~